By Paul M. Banks is Founder/President of The Sports Bank.net,

Say what you want about the 2010 Chicago White Sox, but at least they hold true to form. Everyone talks about how up-and-down they are, how they (warning: a cliché as painful as Jim Belushi coming) “are consistently inconsistent.” But it’s not entirely true. About 20% of the way through the season, they give you exactly what you expect. The Sox look terrible against average and winning teams, but they can handle the bad teams. With one exception:

I’ve organized and broken down the record of the 14-19 White Sox by opponent. It’s listed in order of best winning percentage to worst, with the team’s record in parentheses, followed by the Sox record against each opponent. (As of Tuesday, May 11^th)

Tampa Bay Rays (22-10) 1-2

New York Yankees (21-10) 1-2

Minnesota Twins (21-12) 1-2

Toronto Blue Jays (19-15) 3-5

Texas Rangers (18-14) 1-2

Seattle Mariners (13-19) 3-0

Cleveland Indians (11-18) 1-5

Kansas City Royals (12-21) 2-1

You’ll notice the only exception is the inexplicable and unjustifiable 1-5 against the bottom-feeding Indians. But don’t take my word for how bad the Indians are, watch this video from one of their own announcers. Against losing teams the Sox are 6-6, or 5-1 without the Cleveland anomaly. Versus winning teams they’re 6-11.

There are many reasons for this, but we can save those for future articles. For now, let’s focus on the deep literal hole in the two-hole of the lineup. We all expected Gordon Beckham, one of last year’s top rookies to be “coming out swinging like Tiger Woods’ wife” (Apologies to Ludacris) this season. Well, he’s been swinging; and missing. He’s been more disappointing than both Austin Powers sequels combined.

Manager Ozzie Guillen said he is not a fan of Beckham’s body language after Thursday’s loss. “When you see him put his hands on his hips, it’s not baseball- shaking his head every time he makes out.”

Beckham, who hit .270 with 14 HRs last year, went 0-for-4 with three Ks last night. He added two errors in the field. His batting average is dropping like the readership of that crappy Milwaukee Brewers blog that stupidly picked a fight with us last summer. “Bacon” is now at a pathetic .193 and says his problems are more upstairs than they are in his swing. He added “a lot of this is self-inflicted.”

Maybe he was brought up too soon last year? Maybe he needs to go back to Charlotte to figure it out? He’s striking out a whopping one out of EVERY four at bats!

Most Sox fans are expecting his career to develop like Aimee Teegarden in “Friday Night Lights,” becoming more pleasant to watch and with an increased role every year. Instead his career is going down hill like the lives of every child star from “Different Strokes.”

Whatever the issue is, Bacon needs to quickly become crisper, and produce more meat for this batting order. Right now his presence is somewhat Artie Lange-like, a layer of useless flab weighing down a rather punchless lineup.

Paul M. Banks is Founder/President of The Sports Bank.net, an Upper Midwest sports webzine. He’s also a member of the Football Writers Association of America, the United States Basketball Writers Association and a sports writer for the Washington Times.com Communities and Walter Football.com

Dear NQTC-Reading White Sox Fans,

In light of all recent chatter on the site about our White Sox coverage (or lack thereof), I feel that it is necessary to address the issue of the White Sox as it relates to NQTC.  I want to dispel any myths on StevieY19 and my stance on the Sox and their fans, as well as discuss what kind of White Sox coverage can be expected this summer.

I don’t want to speak for StevieY too much, but I know his general feelings about the Sox.  He is originally from Michigan and is a die-hard lifelong Tigers fan.  He truly hates the White Sox.  While that is an obvious prejudice in any Sox coverage he does, it also keeps him interested in the Sox since their performance directly affects his Tigers playoff race year in and year out.

I feel quite differently.  I grew up here in Chicago and my father is in fact a White Sox fan born and raised (since he grew up on the South Side).  I am a diehard Cubs fan to a fault, but I am not one of those Cubs fans who hates the Sox.  To me they are just like any other random team in the American League that I don’t give a shit about.  The difference between them and say the Mariners is that I have to read about them in my local papers everyday.  I don’t root against them except when they play the Cubs.

I have personal feelings about different personnel on the Sox unrelated to the fact that they are White Sox.  For instance, Ozzie is an embarrassing idiot who makes the Sox whole organization look bad but I understand that he won them a championship and because of that he can do no wrong.  I have always liked Konerko (he gave Top Ten Nominee and I the rest of his sunflower seeds at a game about a decade ago when he had just been called up and we didn’t know who he was).  I don’t mind Kenny Williams, though I like to mock him for being trigger-happy.  Joe Crede was always my pick to click and Bobby Jenks is a fat idiot.  I also like to argue over whether Thome is a smart dumb guy or a dumb smart guy.  The point is I’m not biased against any of them purely because they are White Sox.

In terms of my coverage of the team, I plan on writing about the Sox to the extent they are interesting to me.  I am not going to force an analysis of their position battles or late season trips to Minnesota.  Since they are in the news here in Chicago, I will write about them if something unusual or interesting happens.  Oh, and of course I will always report on Ozzie making an ass of himself.

I hope this satisfies all you White Sox fans out there and puts to rest the misconception that I am somehow anti-Sox.  I am just not as passionate about them as I am about the Cubs, Bears, Bulls, etc. so I am not going to cheapen the site by trying to write something I don’t care about.

Whether you are actually from the South Side or your Jewish parents nobly fled the South Side in the 1960s and brought their Sox loyalties with them, I wish you and your team good luck this season.  I also assume that only about 25% of Sox fans can read and of those, only about half steal internet (there’s no way Sox fans can afford to pay for Internet).  There can’t be that many Sox fans reading blogs.  That being said, please leave me alone about the goddamn White Sox because I really don’t give a shit about them or your need to read about them.

Love,

Stormin Norman Disciple