Not Qualified To Comment » Superhuman Abilities http://notqualifiedtocomment.com Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:48:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 en hourly 1 New Shirt Gives Athletes Superhuman Abilities http://notqualifiedtocomment.com/2009/03/new-shirt-gives-athletes-superhuman-abilities.html http://notqualifiedtocomment.com/2009/03/new-shirt-gives-athletes-superhuman-abilities.html#comments Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:00:59 +0000 Stormin' Norman Disciple http://notqualifiedtocomment.com/?p=1306 shirtNQTC reader Glook pointed out to me that there was some new Adidas tank top that supposedly increases a wearer’s vertical leap by 4%.  A shirt.  Not supplements or shoes, a shirt.  After he showed me an ad from a magazine, I finally bought in.  I find this very difficult to believe, but Adidas seems to stand by its claim.  According to the Adidas Press Room, the shirt increases speed and power as well:

[A]didas TECHFIT has been tested on the ultimate stage most notably by 2009 NBA All-Star Dwight Howard.  TECHFIT PowerWeb is proven to increase speed by 1.1 percent, improve vertical leap by 4 percent, increase power output by 5.3 percent and increase overall endurance levels.

What exactly is “power output”?  I assume that this does not increase verrtical leap unless it is more aerodynamic somehow and the person they tested it on was jumping in front of a giant turbine or exhaust fan or something.  Can we get one of these for Aaron Gray?  Oh and if Adidas would be kind enough to create a shirt that makes someone be less of a retard, we should buy one for Tyrus.

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