To be honest, I can’t remember what the White Sox ad campaign was for this 2010 season. I vaguely remember some black and white commercials but I couldn’t tell if they were a tribute to the passing of Michael Jackson or actually plugging the new Sox roster. No matter the clever slogans, it really didn’t matter for the first two-and-a-half months of the season as the Sox were bad. Hitting? Not good, but we expected little. Relief Pitching? Average, and we wondered how long Matt Thornton could survive. Starting Pitching? That was the truly distressing part, as it had been labeled our strength from the start of the season.

Well as painful as those first months were, those memories are distant ones now. The Sox have been the hottest team in baseball for the last month or so as they made their climb atop the AL Central standings, and they have been playing thoroughly entertaining baseball during that stretch (I’ve blocked the last Twins loss out of my memory entirely. Let’s just say, I was not entertained.)

The bats have come alive with Paul Konerko and Alex Rios being the lone constants throughout the season. In almost every game the Sox have a different bat heating up. And in the past month it seems as if every bat in the lineup has been clicking.  Alexei Ramirez (.362 BA in July), Omar Vizquel (.333), Juan Pierre (.305) all have consistently populated the base paths. Carlos Quentin (.305, with 6 of his 11 hits in the month as home runs) when healthy, is terrifying to opposing pitchers. And Andruw Jones, while a shadow of what he once was, still puts together tough at-bats (.350 OBP in July, with a healthy mix of patience and power).

Heck, even Brent Lillibridge has gotten into the act, giving some rest to the Sox infielders and giving Ozzie a good bat off the bench in late innings (.423 BA overall in limited at-bats ).

While all those numbers are encouraging, the best news is that Gordon Beckham appears to have gotten his groove back. He’s hitting .421 for the month of July and it looks like the three games off that Ozzie gave him at the start of July helped him get on track. Since June 22nd, he’s raised his batting average forty-two points and has halved his strikeout rates from previous months. This boost from Ramirez and Beckham means that opposing pitchers have no room to relax in the Sox lineup.

I don’t even know where to start with the Sox pitching staff. From Buehrle and Garcia doing their thing, to Floyd and Danks hitting their strides, it’s been fun to watch. Ozzie seems to have found his guys in the bullpen (I’m still holding out hope that Linebrink finds himself, if not for us, then to be used in a trade). Ignoring the question mark that is Bobby Jenks, the only glaring question is whether Daniel Hudson can fill the 5th starter slot and not deplete the bullpen while he’s at it.

Last night, Hudson proved that he has the stuff to stay in the starting rotation. He started the game with a grotesque 11.25 ERA from his start against the Royals where the Sox bats saved him. And he left the game with 2 outs in the seventh inning with a runner on first, having lowered that ERA to 5.06. He allowed one run early on and then settled down, scattering five hits and striking out six (including all three swinging in the second inning). Those numbers would’ve been even better had he not fallen victim to a tight strike zone. One at-bat, in particular, saw Jack Wilson, the Mariners’ ninth batter, get the full benefit of Hudson’s tiny strike zone. Here’s hoping Hudson can keep it up down the stretch for the Sox.

h/t: Smells Like Mascot

Intrigue in sports is in the midst of hibernation, but there were still a few stories you should have kept an eye on this week.

U-S-A! U-S-A!  The Americans fielded (iced?) a team made up mostly of players 26 and younger, very few of which had seen action in the Olympics. The results so far couldn’t be better. Team USA is unbeaten in the tournament and plays Finland in the semifinals today at 2 CT.  Of course things got real when the Americans beat the host nation last weekend; the first time we had beaten Canada in 50 years. If we take down a tough Finland squad today, it will likely set up a rematch of USA-Canada for the gold medal. 

Take my running back, please.  Think back to three years ago and how much drool would be spilled over this running back free agent class. Tomlinson, Westbrook, Larry Johnson, and Thomas Jones will be available this off-season.  Seriously, if you told me three years ago they would all be available and they should all be approached with caution, I’d have gone all Brian Fellows on you. Anyway, a couple teams looking for a solid veteran back is going to be pretty happy. 

Don’t talk about ESPN’s lady like that. Tony Kornheiser made fun of Hannah Storm a little bit this week and ESPN was real pissed. Storm’s attire has drawn some attention before and Kornheiser really just said what a lot of people were thinking  anyway. Of course, there is no big problem with how Storm dresses, it’s just ridiculous. What’s up with the two week suspension? It started at three days and was extended to a week. Message sent ESPN, no criticizing co-workers. So Tony, next time you think about poking fun at Steve Levy’s suit, check yourself.

Durant’s amazing streak ends.  Without enough people knowing it, Kevin Durant is having an unreal season for the OKC Thunder. This week he ended a streak of 29 games scoring 25 or more points. Only Jordan put together a longer streak when he went for 40 straight games in the late 80′s. The Spurs put it to an end holding him to 21 points and shutting out the star in the fourth quarter. During the streak Durant averaged 32 ppg and shot 50% from three. Kid deserves some MVP votes.

Thank you Twitter.  There are so many ways to be heard today, which is great when you have someone as interesting as Ozzie Guillen. The Sox manager opened his Twitter account this week and the Internet may not be able to contain the awesome. Nothing earth-shattering has been tweeted thus far, but early on my favorite part is the broken English. I really hope he uses this thing to its full potential because honestly one problem with Ozzie is that I can’t understand a lot of what he’s saying at times.  Twitter should really allow him to bring the crazy in HD, but still keep that adorable habit of butchering the language.  For example, “Bed and bath I love this places,” or “going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job?”  These are the things we must know! Love it.

Ozzie Guillen has chosen to enter the 21st century in the way that brings him the most attention: he signed up for Twitter.  Although rumor has it his sons are posting a lot of his tweets, the bottom line is that he has jumped on another opportunity to make his ridiculous thoughts and feelings known to the whole world.  Here are a few examples of his tweets, please forgive him if they make little to no sense:

going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job ?

3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd

what I saw on the field today was a lot of grass…

This post is not a commentary on how good of a coach Ozzie or anyone else is, its just a look at the difference in personalities between the two Chicago managers.  Take a look at Lou Piniella’s hilarious reaction to the news that Ozzie is on Twitter:

“What is Twitter?” Piniella said Wednesday.

Informed that it was a social media outlet that gives users an opportunity to convey their thoughts in a sentence or two, the Cubs manager said: “Really? Ozzie, he needs more space than that.”

“First of all, I don’t know how to Twitter,” he said. “And second of all, I’m not going to learn how to Twitter.”

“But I’m really not a Facebook or Twitter guy,” he said. “I’m a prime-rib-and-baked-potato guy. I hate to say that, but it’s true.”

Oh Lou, your folksy one-liners always amuse us.  So Lou wants to have a prime rib dinner while Ozzie would rather broadcast his nonsense to the whole world to try to get more attention.  Okay Sox fans, this is your cue to flip out in the comments.

The White Sox were 2-hit earlier tonight, but that didn’t stop Ozzie from throwing a temper tantrum arguing balls and strikes.  Detroit4Lyfe got a great screenshot of Ozzie right as he was about to say a wonderful word, which as D4L so eloquently puts it, “rhymes with fuck”.

According to D4L, Ozzie put on quite the show:

He got ejected in the 9th inning when he argued a ball call that looked like a sure strike three on Adam Everett.  After the ejection, Guillen proceeded to throw his gum in the ump’s direction and tell him that he was an a-hole, repeatedly, before retiring to the clubby.

His days have got to be coming to a close, but in the meantime we have to make sure to enjoy his lovable managerial style.

Bitternutz, an avid NQTC reader and commenter, sent me this little rant about his beloved White Sox today.  I’m reposting it here for any Sox fans who wish to read it (or any Cubs fans who enjoy sharing the misery of the 2009 season with our south side brethren).  Enjoy!

2009 White Sox Obituary

I am attending today’s White Sox-Yankees finale with a couple other Chicagoans transplanted in New York. When my friends and I hatched our plan to attend this game the Sox were only 1 game out of first place and looked like they were about to make a run for the postseason. Now I pray that we are not embarrassed and the umpires do not decide to institute the slaughter rule and call the game early like they should have yesterday.

We do not expect the White Sox to win today. Not with “Sweat” Freddy Garcia on the mound. We are attending this game to say goodbye to the 2009 White Sox. It is more of a Wake then anything else. After today’s game I plan to not watch them the rest of the season. The AL central is terrible this year and the Sox had plenty of opportunities, but seem unable and unwilling to capitalize.

The fans who have watched this team hover around .500 all season cannot find a single clear culprit for the Sox shortcomings. This has been the most frustrating aspect of the season. It would be a lot more soothing if the problem could be identified, then at least Sox fans could have peace of mind and focus on what we need to improve for next year. Certainly the offense has not been producing and the bullpen has been terrible and misused by Ozzie. I personally believe the Sox poor defense is an underrated contributor to the Sox shitiness. The team has given up 62 unearned runs and countless other runs have scored because of the defenses inability to even get close enough to the ball to make an error. Any ball hit to the outfield that doesn’t clear the fence is definitely falling for a single and if Scott Podsednik is in the vicinity then probably a double.

The Sox trades have not inspired hope. Alex Rios has only proven why the Blue Jays were willing to give him up for nothing and Jake Peavy seems about as excited to pitch in a meaningful game as Lance Bass would be excited to attend a jello wrestling match between Erin Andrews and Megan Fox. Maybe these trades will work out in the long run, but they are far from a sure thing and I’m done caring for this year.

Thank god football season starts next week.

Over the past week or so there have been some great Chicago sports quotes, and each one would have lent itself to a great post all on its own.  Unfortunately, I’m studying for some stupid test and I don’t have time to make a million posts for you idiots.  Thus, I have combined them all into this post.  Enjoy:

Ozzie Guillen on managing: “I’m always bored,” Guillen said. “I’m not playing. You’re sitting around for seven innings. My game starts in the sixth [or] seventh inning. That’s when you see me look around the stands a lot, because you play this game for that many years and coach it and be there for that many years and you’re just managing, it’s a boring game all day for me.” So boring, in fact, that as Guillen headed up the steps and out of the press room he admitted that he started counting the number of people in the stands who had his name on the back of their jerseys. “I counted 35,” he said, trying to forget about his team’s performance.

Some Cubs fan at the Cubs-Phillies game in Philly: Sat next to a Cubs fan who explained repeatedly that the Cubs could have signed Raul Ibanez instead of Milton Bradley (though Ibanez signed in Philly first) and that Alfonso Soriano will swing at any breaking ball out of the zone “just like every other Latin American in the major leagues.”

A caption written by William Ligue III on his Myspace page under a picture of him and his father beating up Tom Gamboa, a base coach for the Royals: “ME AND DAD FUCKIN UP THA COACH FA THA KANSAS CITY ROYALS.”

Another rival wide receiver (Donald Driver this time) on how Bears wide receivers suck: “I think Chicago did a great job, and Lovie Smith went out there and got Jay Cutler to lead this team, but one thing they don’t have is they don’t have the receiver group,” Driver said. ”They have the running back, they have the offensive line and they have a great defense. But you’re going to have to need receivers to make plays down the field, and they don’t have that right now.”

Jerry Reinsdorf on running the Bulls: “But the only way you can avoid making a mistake is not to make a decision.”

Hawk Harrelson’s new catchphrase: “Yes, hell yes!”

Marian Hossa on playing in Chicago, after coming from Detroit (affectionately known as “hockeytown”): “It’s great to be in a hockey town,” said Hossa, who had 40 goals and 31 assists for the Wings last season. “This is a sports town, a great town. The city is great and the fans are great. There’s not much not to like about this city.”

Ozzie’s quote is the funniest but Reinsdorf’s is the most concerning.  Really, Jerry?  I mean it makes sense to live in fear after your Ben Wallace mistake, but I’ve got news for you: being scared of your own shadow led to some serious mistakes as well (missing out on Gasol, Bryant, Garnett, Amare, Boozer, etc).

• Whoa!  Shaq to Cleveland could change the face of the East, or not.  It will still be fun.  Here’s a good look at all the roles that will have to be shifted on the Cavs for this trade to work out in Cleveland. [BDL]
• Hilarious fake tweets from athlete’s twitter accounts. [Luol's Dong]
• Jeff Jordan, MJ’s son, will be hanging up his shorts and focusing on his studies.  Good for him, bad for the Illini, who were hoping to develop him into a poor man’s Chester Frazier. [Tribune]
• A video from Facebook of Derrick Rose working out in California.  He looks like he’s in good shape. [Docksquad]
• Ozzie got tossed during last night’s Sox game.  I don’t know if the theatrics are going to work, Ozzie.  Kenny will have to make some moves to keep this team from sinking into the AL cellar. Not bad for a rebuilding year though.[Sun-Times]
• Eddy Curry has rededicated himself to working out.  Yeah right. [Pippen Ain't Easy]
• Aramis Ramirez is supposed to take batting practice tomorrow.  Finally.  We could be getting closer to his return. [Bleacher Nation]
• Mike Brown signs with the Chiefs. [ChiefsBlog]
• Remember they were going to make a movie about Moneyball?  Well it got scrapped, but here’s some excerpts from the script that look terrible. [Deadspin]
• Reed Johnson goes on the 15-day DL.  Ryan Freel comes off it.  The offense gets a little bit worse. [Sun-Times]

Will someone who speaks Spanish please tell me what the hell is going on in this commercial?  It makes me laugh, but I have no idea what anything means.  Why all the wardrobe changes?

h/t: NESW Sports

• A site essentially devoted to the White Sox inexplicably rips Ozzie. [Luol's Dong]
• What is the Bulls obsession with undersized guards?  Its almost like a strategy geared towards acquiring them. [Pippen Ain't Easy]
• Okay this ChicagoSportsWebio scheme is a little over my head, but you know it can’t be good when just days after allegations that paychecks were bouncing one of the co-founders of the company vanishes into thin air. [Chicagoist]
• A good summary of the Cublogosphere’s reactions to the Sosa steroid news.  Apparently I’m the Captain Renault of viewpoints.  Can someone under 70 explain that reference to me? [WV23]
• Sammy Sosa may be in trouble for perjury, but some good lawyering could set him free. [Shysterball]
• The Cubs got pantsed by the Sox yesterday.  When will the hitting come around?  When?! [Tribune]

Remember those “(hispanic player) mows my lawn” t-shirts?  Well they spawned all kinds of discussions about baseball fans being racist, but apparently Ozzie didn’t care about all that.  In fact, it appears he purchased a shirt of his own on his way to work at Wrigley this morning:

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was amused Wednesday by a T-shirt that sported a cartoon drawing of him cutting the Wrigley Field lawn.

“Ozzie mows Wrigley Field” was inscribed on the front, with the Wrigley scoreboard in the background.

Guillen bought a T-shirt and wore it in the clubhouse. “I might cut lawns but I don’t stand in the rain selling T-shirts,” Guillen said, laughing.

It’s been at least a week since he said or did something incredibly stupid and insensitive but uniquely hilarious.  I would say this definitely qualifies.

h/t: Player to be Named Later

• Red Kerr got screwed out of extending his Iron Man streak back in the day under very strange circumstances. [NBC Chicago]
• Cubs-Sox is coming up the next few days, but boy have the Cubbies been god-awful at the plate lately.  [Zoner]
• Brandon Marshall wants out of Denver and the Bears need a wide receiver.  Why not Cutler’s old running mate?  Also, if all these people are unhappy in Denver, maybe Cutler wasn’t whiny and Denver management just sucks. [WCG]
• LA Lakers are NBA champions.  Respect. Does this move Kobe from top ten all time to top five all time?  I don’t think so quite yet, but he’s getting closer.  [Hardwood Paroxysm]
• Does Wrigley Field Suck?  Cynics (Deadspinners) and morons (Ozzie) seem to think so, but what about real people? [Shysterball]
• Derrek Lee trade rumors are not a good sign for the aging first basemen.  I love the guy, but I wouldn’t be against getting Hoffpauir/Fox more at-bats and maybe getting a good bat at 2b, 3b or OF in exchange. [Bleacher Nation]
• Congratulations to Phil Jackson.  He is the greatest manipulator in NBA history (in terms of coaches).  [By The Horns]
• Another take on the whole Raul Ibanez non-steroid controversy.  Bloggers really are the devil. [Sharapova's Thigh]
• Joe Morgan lied again.  He is just the most arrogant, worst kind of person.  It’s too bad, because Jon Miller is great, but Joe is just an idiot. [Deadspin]
• By the way, the Cubs fired their hitting coach and named another.  I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the problem, but when things get this bad, you have to do something.  Bye, bye Gerald Perry; hello Von Joshua. [Hardball]

The Cubs trounced the White Sox this weekend in a meaningless spring training game.  Most sane and rational human beings probably wouldn’t mind all that much, its just spring training, right?  Well Ozzie disagrees with your sane assessment of the situation, and here was his completely reasonable reaction:

White Sox fans: here is another opportunity for you to bitch and moan about how biased this site is.  Please enlighten me as to why this behavior is acceptable.  The comments are all yours.

Carlos Zambrano told the Sun-Times that while he loves the Cubs, he is also a White Sox fan and has been since he was a little kid.  He said that he couldn’t imagine pitching for another team, but if he ever did, he’d want it to be on the South Side.

Now Cubs fans might be pissed about this, but really there isn’t a reason to get worked up.  Carlos is obviously one of the most intense competitors we have ever seen and you could never question his commitment to winning for this team.  Hopefully he never moves on, but if he does, the White Sox would be an acceptable destination.  Just keep him out of St. Louis.

The best part of the article, in my opinion, was when Zambrano talked about how he was good friends with Ozzie Guillen.  Tell me this isn’t absolutely perfect.

He took a seat in a seaside restaurant. Then he heard a voice boom — in Spanish — from across the room.

”Hey, Crazy, what are you doing here?”

Zambrano wheeled around and found Sox manager Ozzie Guillen glaring at him.

Guillen went on to praise Carlos, calling him a great person and family man, and a fantastic competitor on the field.

Now all I can think about is a sitcom starring Carlos and Ozzie, I just can’t think of a good name for it.  Cray-Z’s, Wild and Crazy Guys, the Ozz Couple.  Put any decent ideas in the comments.

I’m just saying that these two guys would be hilarious together.  Ozzie pissing people off by saying whatever comes into his crazy head and Carlos taking off his belt ready to pound anyone to get Ozzie’s back.  Then they would get in little spats and Z would throw pitches at Ozzie in the dugout from the mound during the games.  If Flavor of Love can get on TV, I don’t see how this wouldn’t.