You know, it was fun at first.  I just watched a game here and there, and I was always enjoying myself.  It was only April, there was no pressure, I just wanted to have a beer or two, enjoy the green grass and the beautiful sunset against the grandstand.  But then I became more and more obsessed.  All of a sudden I needed to watch every inning of every game.  Sometimes it wasn’t too bad, Marmol might pitch a good inning, or when Derrek Lee started to heat up in June.  Sometimes it was miserable, when the Cubs offense shorted out and Milton Bradley turned on himself, the team, and even the fans.

Then August rolled around.  It started off decently, with the Cubs winning 3 out of 4 and sitting only 2 games behind the Cardinals.  And then things went south.  Not to say they had been going great all season until that point, but there was still a lot of hope.  Things were very precarious, however, and one weak link could trip up the whole operation.

Meet Kevin Gregg and an extremely inconsistent bullpen.  Sure, Gregg and the bullpen aren’t necessarily responsible for the position the Cubs are now in (if you ask me its a combination of terrible hitting and terrible coaching), but Gregg’s meltdowns in the 9th inning turned the tide on this season.  All of a sudden I was screaming at my girlfriend for no good reason.  Some days I would just be in a bad mood all day and not even know why.  I had to kick the habit, it had become self-destructive.  I think I’m much happier this way.

Now it is August 26th, the Cubs are 9 games behind the Cardinals in the NL Central and 8.5 back in the Wild Card.  Also, according to a box score I noticed this morning (I swear I didn’t fall off the wagon and watch the game!), the Cubs lost 15-6 to the Nationals (arguably the worst team in baseball) last night.  I had clearly made the right decision.

So that is why I have decided to quit drinking Cubsahol.  Obviously I will be back on the sauce come Spring Training 2010 (or possibly even Cubs Convention), but for now I’m just trying to get my life back together.  Football season cannot come soon enough.

Closer: Guzman

Set-Up Man: Player from another team

Left-Handed Specialist: Marshall, Grabow

Middle Relief: Heilman, Player from another team

Long-Reliever: Marshall, Heilman

Ball Boy: Carlos Marmol

Peanut Vendor: Gregg

Annoying Guy Who Keeps Showing Up to Parties Even Though No One Invited Him: Samardzija

The bullpen thing is only one issue among many.  This division race is over.  I’m usually a guy that stays pretty upbeat about my team’s chances, especially the Cubs.  Unfortunately as they fade farther and farther back in both the NL Central race and the Wild Card, I am becoming more and more skeptical, and angry.  I’m sick of defending Milton Bradley and Kevin Gregg.  I’m tired of Zambrano’s endless drama.  I want to punch Hendry in the face for his off-season circus that resulted in more money spent and worse performance on the field.

And the one man I never thought I would tire of, Sweet Lou has pushed me past the tipping point.  His mismanagement of this bullpen has been glaringly obvious, even more so than his refusal to drop Soriano in the order, preach intelligent baserunning, or make adjustments when big-name players were struggling.  If you are any kind of baseball enthusiast, you have to be questioning not whether Lou’s stubborn refusal to change things that aren’t working may be the sign of an old man that has lost his grasp on baseball and even reality.  The guy has heart, wants to win, and I love him, but his decision-making is piss-poor.  Anyone with half a brain knew it was time to get Marmol out of the set-up role weeks ago, instead of “letting him work it out”.  Its been three months!  Let him work it out on his own goddamn time, when its not costing us leads in the 7th and 8th.

I can’t talk about this anymore.  And to those of you who have my gchat, please don’t IM me to see “what I thought about last night’s game”.  It f#$%ing sucked, ok?  That’s what I thought about it.

Cubs Injury Issues: Now Zambrano gets scratched with back problems.  It’s been a season-long injury issue with this team, with Fukudome and Theriot being the only real iron-men on the team.  How are the Cubs supposed to live up to the potential of their ridiculous payroll when none of the big money spent is even taking the field on a regular basis?  Can we blame the trainers? Or Hendry for signing a team full of players made from glass?

Richard Dent Gets Screwed: It’s a real shame that this kind of thing happens.  Richard Dent is one of the greatest defensive ends in the history of the game.  He dominated the position on what was the best defense of all time.  Be it journalists, or veteran’s committees, or whatever, the selection processes for professional halls of fame needs to be amended to actually let in hall of famers.  Dent had 137.5 sacks and was the Super Bowl XX MVP.  He created more turnovers and havoc in the backfield than any end in NFL history.  Why he didn’t get in the Hall is beyond me.

Broncos Fans Boo Orton: Broncos fans really suck.  I mean they are just terrible.  Apparently Orton got booed for having a bad practice.  Not a bad game or series of practices; one bad practice.  Gee I wonder why Cutler wanted out of Denver.

Kevin Gregg is Still Having a Better Season Than Kerry Wood: Even though he blew 2 saves last weekend, his numbers are still far better than Woody’s this year.  Gregg and the entire bullpen has just been overworked and needs some time to rest their arms.  Unfortunately that may or may not happen.

Obama Almost Wore a Cardinals Jersey: I really want to like this guy.  I do.  He says all the right things to make me believe he can turn this country around and he has pretty good handles on the hardwood.  Then he stalls on health care, makes some terrible appointments, continues many of the old failed policies of the last administration, wears a White Sox jacket, and now this.  Apparently he almost wore a Cardinal’s jersey at the All-Star game.  That would have literally lost my vote right there (not to mention make me vomit in my mouth a little bit).  Thank god he didn’t do it.

Hoffpauir Sent Down, Soto Called Up: It’s a numbers game, I get that, but why do the Cubs have to send down Hoffpauir?  Although his average has slipped a bit since he gets less consistent playing time, he still has the power numbers to be an effective left-handed option off the bench.  I mean do we need Scott Baker, Mike Fontenot, Andres Blanco, and Aaron Miles on the squad?  How about send Aaron Miles down, that guy sucks and everyone knows it.

Bulls Save Some Money on Tim Thomas: The Bulls bought out Tim Thomas’s contract which was worth 6.4 million but they only paid 4.8 million.  Every little bit of cap space helps.  I’m still wondering who will shoot the 3 on this team though.

Ben Wallace Returns To Detroit: Just kidding, even I don’t give a shit about this.

I Just Don’t Like Matt Holliday, Why Do I Need a Reason?: Either Mozeliak, LaRussa, or Holliday himself sold his soul so that Holliday, who had been hitting just .276 with 8 home runs before the break, all of a sudden is hitting .525 with 4 home runs since being acquired by the Cards.  I hate that whole team, and Holliday is no exception.  I’m sure he’ll do some classless Cardinal-like thing soon enough (that organization is character poison) to give me a good reason to hate him, but in the meantime I just don’t like him and I have no good reason.

Fine, Gordon Beckham is Good, But At Least I Was Right About Carlos Quentin Being a Fluke: The title says it all.  I was skeptical about both Beckham and Quentin this winter after every Sox fan I talked to told me Quentin was the second coming and Beckham will be great.  Quentin is not the second coming.  Don’t you find it odd he didn’t come up to the majors until he was 27?  And don’t even start with the “he’s been injured” crap.  If anything that just means he is injury-prone, proving me correct that last year was a fluke.  Props to Beckham though, that kid is filthy.

Marlins Little “Goat” Stunt Not Appreciated By Sweet Lou: Who cares Lou?  If the goat and the curse are all bullshit, then it doesn’t matter.  I’m sure you get sick of that stuff, but getting mad about it only brings more attention to the idiots who mock the Cubs.  I never thought I would say this, but Lou needs to just shut up about this stuff.  No one would have even batted an eye if he didn’t get all worked up about it.

The Return of Fire Joe Morgan: My favorite sports blog of all time will be returning (sort of) for one day.  On September 16, the old crew from FJM consisting of Dak, Ken Tremendous, and Junior will be running Deadspin for a day.  Hopefully it inspires them to start writing FJM again, but either way it should be fun.

Some White Sox Fans Might Be Actually Retarded: Not to be too rude, but how can you not laugh a little at how dumb some Sox fans are when you see this picture.  Did you really think Rowand was spelled “R-O-W-A-D-N”?

The “Derrick Rose Had A Rough Summer” Story is Bullshit: He didn’t have a tough summer, okay?  The two stories this is referring to are the gang sign thing and the SAT cheating thing.  Both are bullshit.  No one cares that he might have made a gang sign to a camera one time in college.  And he didn’t cheat, he was proven innocent pretty convincingly.  Here’s the real story of D-Rose’s summer: He tried out with Team USA, worked on his jumpers, and probably bought a lot of cool stuff with all his new money.  I don’t want to hear about the “cheating” or the gang signs anymore, okay mainstream media?

Tom Gorzelanny Can Pitch, and He Looks Like Sloth from the Goonies: So he probably isn’t as good as he was in his start for the Cubs, but to be honest all we need is 3-4 halfway decent starts from him until Lilly comes back.  If he pitches really well for the next couple weeks and its a tough decision whether to send him down or keep him in the rotation, that is the kind of tough decision a team wants to have.  Oh yeah, and he looks like Sloth from the Goonies.

Let’s Get Real, The Peavy Trade Probably Won’t Mean Much This Season: I know this will sound like sour grapes, but seriously, if he comes back healthy he can make 3 starts in September.  If the Sox make the playoffs, which seems less and less likely, then he can definitely be a factor.  Otherwise, this signing was for the future.  The Sox rotation will be formidable with Buerhle and Peavy at the top and Danks and Floyd at the 3 and 4 for the next few years.

1st Base (Derrek Lee, Micah Hoffpauir): Derrek Lee started slow but has come on extremely strong since the middle of May.  Hoffpauir has been superb in a back up role.  Personally I think the Cubs need to get this guy more at-bats, but he has filled in admirably for Lee during stretches and mashes the ball when he gets the chance.

Grade: A-

2nd Base (Aaron Miles, Bobby Scales, Mike Fontenot, Jeff Baker, Andres Blanco): What a ragtag bunch at 2nd base.  You know its bad when this many guys have played the position, and no major injuries were a factor.  Fontenot was supposed to be the guy this year.  And by “the guy” I don’t mean Ted Williams, I think most people were just hoping for say .250/.333/.430 instead of .230/.307/.358.  Just terrible.  The other guys are all marginal major leaguers at best.

Grade: D

Shortstop (Ryan Theriot): Okay here is someone having a better season then he was expected to have.  In fact, the little power surge of his in early May makes his season arguably better than expected.  He is hitting about .300 and has mostly returned to his non-walking ways, but he has committed slightly less TOOTBLANs.

Grade: B+

3rd Base (Aramis Ramirez, Mike Fontenot, Jake Fox): Jake Fox! He has started a few games at 3rd and the guy can just rake the ball.  Unfortunately for our 3rd basemen grade, most of the at-bats went to Fontenot, who we discussedis having a terrible season.  With Ramirez on the pine, this position was a black hole at the plate for the most part.

Grade: C-

Catcher (Geovany Soto, Koyie Hill): Soto had a sloooow start, got high, then got injured.  Hill has been just so-so.  Soto needs to come back after the break and show us something, because he looked nothing like the all-star catcher he was last year.  I would say he needs to find his power stroke, but that would neglect to take into consideration his inability to make contact with the ball at all.  At least he’s walking I guess.

Grade: D

Outfield (Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, Reed Johnson, Milton Bradley, Jake Fox, Micah Hoffpauir): The only things saving the outfield from an F is Fukudome’s C- season and Soriano’s ridiculously hot April.  Bradley sucks, Fonzy sucks, and Reed, Fox and Hoffpauir aren’t getting enough at-bats to save the position.

Grade: D-

Starting Pitchers (Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden, Wells, Marshall): The Cubs one huge strength has been their starting rotation.  Wells, Lilly, Zambrano and Dempster are sporting 2.70, 3.18, 3.53, and 4.09 ERAs respectively.  Marshall did fine in his starts earlier in the year as well.  The only real major concern has been Rich Harden, who has given up 16 home runs in just 74 innings.  His strikeout numbers have been there, but his weakness to the long ball is a problem that needs to be corrected.  Randy Wells has been phenomenal and made most Cubs fans forget about Jake Peavy trade rumors.  If this staff can stay strong, the Cubs have a shot at the Division and maybe more.

Grade: A-

Bullpen (Marmol, Gregg, Heilman, Guzman, Cotts, Patton, Hart, etc.): Angel Guzman has been a pleasant surprise.  Also, Kevin Gregg is doing very well.  He is performing far better than Kerry Wood by pretty much any measure you use, and his 16/19 in saves is better than expected.  That’s it for the positives.  Marmol has been inconsistent at best and whether he can’t hit the strike zone, or just won’t hit it, his ability to turn it around will be key to the Cubs second half.  Oh, quick random fact I bet you didn’t know: Aaron Heilman is 0/5 in save opportunities.  Yeah, Aaron Heilman.  I didn’t even know he had any opportunities, and it looks like he really took advantage of those.

Grade: D+

Coaching (Lou Piniella, Larry Rothschild, Alan Trammell, Von Joshua/Gerald Perry): I hate to do this to you Lou, but things have been terrible.  Reluctant to move Soriano down in the order until too late, unable to help Bradley feel comfortable with the team, refusal to use Hoffpauir, Fox, and other young guys when overpaid players are slumping, mismanagement of the bullpen, and a misplaced belief in “being aggressive on the basepaths” even though the individual players on the team are terrible base stealers (32/51 on stolen bases and countless other TOOTBLANs).  I love Lou and it’s easy to judge him from here in the peanut gallery, but I think he would agree that he hasn’t been at his best this season.

Grade: D+

Cubs Overall Grade: C-

In general, the main areas that needed to be dealt with were: 1) With Fukudome falling apart last season, the Cubs needed to pick up a power-hitting right-fielder; 2) Jason Marquis had a big contract so he was going to have to go, but who would replace him in the rotation? 3) DeRosa’s contract was a bit large, would they pay him or look elsewhere for the versatility he provided? and 4) Wood’s contract was up, would Hendry let him walk and try to find a closer elsewhere (from within, Marmol, or from without, someone else) and how would the rest of the bullpen fill out?  Let’s take a look at how Hendry addressed those issues and how those decisions have played out so far this season:

1) Fukudome’s meltdown leading to the need for a power-hitting right-fielder:

Hendry had a few options this offseason in this department.  While hindsight is 20/20 and it is easy to second-guess, Hendry took an obvious risk on Milton Bradley.  His attitude issues aside (I don’t think those are a big problem), the injury history was definitely a major concern.  Hendry gave Bradley a 2 year $20 million contract with an option for a 3rd year at $10 million.  So far Bradley has hit .242/.347/.389 (BA/OBP/SLG) with 5 home runs so far this season and spent a considerable amount of time on the bench with nagging injuries.  While those numbers are not spectacular, there is still a lot of time left in the season and he has been heating up of late.  Although his power hasn’t come around completely yet, he is hitting .313 in June and his OBP of .347 for the season (.371 in June) is great by most standards.

Although its a bit early to decide if signing Bradley was a terrible decision, its not to early to look at what the other options were.  Adam Dunn and Raul Ibanez were both available.  Dunn is hitting .265/.404/.544 with 18 home runs so far.  While most people are down on Dunn for his low average and high strikeouts, its clear that he is having another monster season and the Nationals gave him essentially the same contract as Bradley got (without the 3rd year option).  Ibanez is also raking the ball, hitting .312/.371/.656 with 22 home runs.  Although he just landed on the DL this week with a strained groin, his production has been impressive as well.  Although it was impossible for Hendry to see the future, both of these guys were significantly less injury (and attitude) risks.

Grade: C-

2) Jason Marquis Out, Open Spot in the Rotation

Marquis’ contract called for a giant option for the 2009 season, so trading him was a must.  Not to say that he didn’t contribute, but he is an average pitcher and not worth the contract.  With Peavy rumors swirling, Hendry decided to stand pat and trust the guns in his farm system.  The assumption was that Marshall or Samardzija would win the spot in the rotation, with guys like Gaudin and the newly-acquired Heilman competing as well.  Marshall won the spot and performed great for the first couple of months.  When Harden went down, the Cubbies brought up Randy Wells, who has sparkled in his outings (even in the face of a severe lack of run support).  Now that Harden is back, Wells is being kept in the rotation allowing Lou to use Marshall out of the pen as another lefty.  None of these guys are Peavy, but Peavy is out for a while with an injury and Marshall/Wells have worked out beautifully.

Are the Cubs really pursuing Pedro Martinez?  Why?

Grade: A-

3) DeRosa’s Contract was $5.5 Million, Keep Him or Look Elsewhere?

Hendry decided to trade DeRosa right around New Years Eve.  Besides being a great hitting 2nd basemen, he played numerous other positions and brought invaluable versatility to the Cubs.  Hendry acquired Aaron Miles to replace him, with the assumption that Fontenot would compete for the job.  Both Miles and Fontenot have been inconsistent at best.  Miles has been just awful, hitting .202/.240/.261.  Fontenot has been better, hitting .235/.324/.390, but still far inferior to DeRosa, who has put up a line of .279/.349/.477 with 13 home runs.  The hitting isn’t the only problem however, since DeRosa’s versatility would have come in very handy.  While Hendry couldn’t have predicted Aramis Ramirez would go down for such a long stretch, things like that happen and DeRosa gives the team a  great option in case of an injury situation like the one that happened.  This move looks worse and worse everyday as the Cubs struggling offense and injury-riddled infield continue to be a problem.

Grade: D

4) Wood’s Contract was up, Re-Sign Him or Let Him Walk?  And The Rest of The Bullpen?

No one wanted to see Kerry Wood go, but with a guy like Carlos Marmol in the wings, its seemed like this could work out.  All Hendry needed to do was go out and get a good set-up man so that Marmol could move seamlessly into the closer role.  Instead he went out and got a mediocre closer and an ok middle reliever (Gregg and Heilman).  Gregg has been up and down, going through some very rough patches.  Although most people have focused on how poor he’s been, the truth is he is having a pretty decent season.  He has converted 10/12 save opportunites and his ERA is just shy of 4 (3.99).  He has 30 strikeouts in 29.1 innings.  Although he has put on a few more baserunners than any of us would like (1.43 WHIP), he hasn’t been awful.  Ironically enough, the rest of the bullpen has been the real problem, starting with Marmol and ending with Neil Cotts (thank god that guy is gone).  Marmol’s ERA is 3.77, yes, but he has blown 2 saves in 5 opportunities and given up massive amounts of walks–31 in just 30 innings.  He has been extremely streaky, putting up a 6.00 ERA in April, 1.39 in May, and 5.63 so far in June.  Heilman has a 4.50 and the rest of the bullpen is made up of AAAA-type guys or kids that aren’t quite ready for the show.  The one bright spot in the pen has been Angel Guzman, who is having a great season so far and hopefully will continue to shine.

Overall the bullpen is a mess, however, and the decision to let Woody walk is at the root of the entire problem.  There’s one thing missing in this analysis though: With Wood up on a pedestal, you would assume he is having a great season in Cleveland, right?  Wrong.  Up until May 19, his ERA was 8.31 and he was 5/8 in save opportunities.  Since then however, he has turned it around, giving up no runs and converting on 3/3 saves.  His ERA is still a bit high at 4.63, but he looks to be turning it around.  It’s tough to blame Hendry for this one, since Marmol should be better than he is, but thinking that Kevin Gregg was the answer and not doing anything else substantial to bolster the bullpen was short-sighted at best.

Grade: C-

Overall Offseason Grade: C-

Although looking within for help in the rotation has played out well for Jim Hendry, the rest of his moves (or lack thereof) were poorly planned or just poorly executed.  Milton Bradley has been a bust so far, the bullpen is a mess, and DeRosa would have plugged some serious holes in the Cubs infield.  All that negativity aside, the Cubs are still .500 and battling for the division, even with all the injuries they have sustained.  Hopefully they can turn things around in the second half of the season and make Hendry look like a genius again.

Anyways, Lou decided that the blown save wasn’t Gregg’s fault at all.  In fact, he blamed it entirely on Koyie Hill for calling the wrong pitches behind the plate:

“You can’t walk as many people as we did from the seventh inning on. You just can’t do it. You’re going to lose,” said Piniella, who was most upset about the Duffy walk — for the pitch selection as much as the result. ”Get the ball over the plate. Make the other team beat you. Period.”

Piniella called Hill into his office after the game to make the point clear enough to be heard out in the clubhouse: Don’t fool around with secondary pitches there; make Duffy hit a fastball.

Wow, so this was so much Koyie’s fault that Lou felt the need to embarass him publicly by yelling at him so everyone in the clubhouse could hear?  Here’s my theory:  Lou made a controversial decision to make Gregg the closer over Marmol.  Now that it is starting to blow up in his face, he is trying to blame it on other people and defend his decision to make Gregg the closer.

On the other hand, maybe he is just trying to manage egos, and he doesn’t want Gregg’s fragile ego to be damaged.  That way he still has confidence when Lou sends him to the mound.  Either way, the Kevin Gregg experiment is off to a shaky start, and I think it’s getting close to Marmol time.

CUBS

• Soriano had a great game, launching the second pitch into the stands.  Maybe this guy will be okay hitting leadoff.
• 2-3-4 (Fukudome, Lee, Bradley) in the order looked terrible, going a combined 0-9 with a walk.
• Fontenot looks amazing, he made great contact all day and it showed with a 3 for 4 performance.  Mark DeWho?
• My personal “Bradley Injury Scare” count is up to 2 already.  He rolled his ankle trotting to first base and he misplayed a ball in the outfield terribly and came crashing down on his shoulder/head.  Take deep breaths Cubs fans.
• Soto threw someone out! (barely)
• Zambrano didn’t throw a perfect game, but he looked very good.  Heilman came in and got a big double-play.  Marmol’s slider looked filthy.  Gregg made things a little bumpy, but got the save.  Someone told me Gregg is a “fly-ball” pitcher.  I’m sure that will be fun to watch all season. (“Honey!  Get my heart medicine!”)
• Did Fukudome work on his swing at all this off-season?  He was flailing at garbage and hitting weak grounders.
• Ramirez hit a bomb and was grinning ear-to-ear in the dugout afterwards.

Around the League

• The White Sox may have set the record for “Best Weather to Cancel a Game in”.
• It looks like K-Rod will be handling the New York media just fine.  Especially if he keeps throwing those filthy pitches.
• What’s with aces getting lit up yesterday? Cliff Lee, Brandon Webb and (gulp) C.C. Sabathia all looked terrible.
• Ok so some nobody named Emilio Bonifacio went 4-5 with a HR and 3 steals for the Marlins yesterday.  How the f#$% was this guy already picked up in my fantasy league by 6 pm?
• Who would have thought the Seattle-Minnesota game would be interesting?  Not only did Felix Hernandez dominate, but Griffey hit a home run.  For Seattle.  I love that he’s back in Seattle, that swing somehow looks even sweeter in an M’s jersey.  I feel like its 1998.  Let’s go play Super Nintendo while mom makes us some pizza rolls.
• The Tigers have some serious pitching issues.
• Speaking of pitching issues, what’s the deal in Oakland?  The only guy I’ve heard of is Dana Eveland, but is he even that good?  Some guy named Braden pitched for them yesterday, and he looked okay I guess.
• The NY Times are picking the Royals to win the AL Central.  God that division sucks.