Northwestern University is mainly known for its academics.  While their sports program is not very strong, they are in the Big Ten and have actually fielded some decent football teams the last 10-15 years or so (culminating in their amazing upset of undefeated No. 4 ranked Iowa last week).  Now, Northwestern is looking to expand their sports program.  They are about to add a Quidditch team to the fold.

What’s Quidditch, you ask? Well its a dumb fake game that J.K. Rowling made up for her Harry Potter fiction books, a series about a bunch of children training to be wizards.  Would you believe if I told you that this is not a new development?  Northwestern is not the first school to start a Quidditch program; in fact there is an entire association for this fake game:

“There’s actually an Intercollegiate Quidditch Association that organizes teams across the country,” said Marc Bourgeois, a sophomore who’s trying to put together an NU Quidditch team. “It started at Middlebury College in Vermont and has really caught on.”

Our friend Mr. Bourgeois (what a fitting name, right? Idle rich Northwestern student has time and money to play fake game, I love it) is looking to get funding from the University for equipment and uniforms, which include purple capes.

I know this story sounds as made up as the actual game of Quidditch, but it is completely true.  There is one unanswered question though (beyond Mr. Bourgeois’s connection with the real world).  How can you play Quidditch?  I have  distinct memory of it being a bunch of wizards flying around on brooms chasing magical balls.  Don’t worry, the rules have been adjusted for muggles (I looked this up, it means a non-wizard):

Here’s brief look at the game: Each player needs a broom. One hand must be kept on the broom between your legs at all times as players run around trying to throw a slightly deflated volleyball, known as the “quaffle,” past a goalie and into one of three goals, which are essentially Hula Hoops attached to PVC piping — all this while trying to avoid being hit by rubber kick balls, or “bludgers.”

“It’s also a contact sport, so it gets pretty intense. You can’t tackle somebody, but you can hip check and run into people while trying to steal the quaffle,” said Bourgeois, who added that players wear cleats — and mouth guards and athletic supporters are recommended.

Looking at the picture above and reading all this stuff, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that our friend Mr. Bourgeois is a virgin.  I don’t see how it could be any other way, I mean the guy wants to wear a freaking cape.