going to eat in half hour why dye no have a job ?

3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd

what I saw on the field today was a lot of grass…

This post is not a commentary on how good of a coach Ozzie or anyone else is, its just a look at the difference in personalities between the two Chicago managers.  Take a look at Lou Piniella’s hilarious reaction to the news that Ozzie is on Twitter:

“What is Twitter?” Piniella said Wednesday.

Informed that it was a social media outlet that gives users an opportunity to convey their thoughts in a sentence or two, the Cubs manager said: “Really? Ozzie, he needs more space than that.”

“First of all, I don’t know how to Twitter,” he said. “And second of all, I’m not going to learn how to Twitter.”

“But I’m really not a Facebook or Twitter guy,” he said. “I’m a prime-rib-and-baked-potato guy. I hate to say that, but it’s true.”

Oh Lou, your folksy one-liners always amuse us.  So Lou wants to have a prime rib dinner while Ozzie would rather broadcast his nonsense to the whole world to try to get more attention.  Okay Sox fans, this is your cue to flip out in the comments.

If you want to watch the actual interview with Quigley, you can go here.  It’s hilarious as well.

Chicago Bulls: Someone who can shoot over 30% from the field, a new coach, and a big 2010 free agent (i.e. Wade, James, Bosh, Johnson, etc.).

Vinny Del Negro: Competence and a miracle.

Joakim Noah: An all-star bid and a blunt

Derrick Rose: A killer instinct.

Tyrus Thomas: Higher basketball IQ.

Chicago Bears: An offensive line, a #1 wide receiver (whatever that means), draft picks, a secondary.

Lovie Smith: To buy that billboard back, a new defensive scheme.

Matt Forte: The 2008 season.

Orlando Pace: The 1998 season.

Greg Olsen: A haircut.

Jay Cutler: Help.

Brian Urlacher: Youth.

Bears Defense: A real defensive coordinator with a scheme and the personnel to execute that scheme.

Ron Turner: A clue.

Chicago Blackhawks: A Stanley Cup.

Patrick Kane: A fake ID.

Buff: A personality.

Adam Burish: Birth control and an STD test.

Jonathan Toews: A spot on Team Canada.

Joel Quenneville: NOT a razor.

Chicago Cubs: A power-hitting outfielder that isn’t lazy (Soriano) obnoxious (Bradley) or an underachiever (Fukudome), a bullpen, a hitting coach, a World Series.

Jim Hendry: For one of his big contracts to actually earn their money.

Lou Piniella: To make it one more year without a heart attack.

Ryan Theriot: Learn how to run bases.

Carlos Marmol: Command of the strike zone.

Carlos Zambrano: Command of his emotions.

Illinois Football: A better game-coach.

Ron Zook: A better game-coach.

Illinois Basketball: Consistency.

Demetri McCamey: A brain.

Mike Davis: Heart.

Mike Tisdale: Courage.

Chicago White Sox: A new GM and coach, a fifth starter, undo the Rios deal, and get Aaron Rowand back.

Ozzie Guillen: Anger management.

Alexis Rios and Andruw Jones: Bat at least a combined .300.

We can only hope that these wonderful Christmas wishes all come true.  Have any other Chicago sports holiday wishes?  Add them in the comments.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to NQTC readers everywhere.

In case you don’t know who these guys are, from left to right it’s Jim McMahon, Mike Ditka, Michael Jordan, and (inexplicably) Hawk Harrelson.  Hawk is the opposite of a winner, I know, but just seeing him makes me laugh at how much of an idiot he really is.

Trib writer Luis Arroyave, who seems to have had the inside scoop all along, wrote of the website “error”: “UPDATE: For those of you wondering why Derrick Rose won over Patrick Sharp, I’m told ‘The IT dept. had a glitch in the system and the votes kept going after the deadline and that is how the discrepancy happened, but Derrick is the official winner as the voting closed.”

According to commenters on Arroyave’s post, Sharp was ahead by over 2,000 votes when the voting ended at midnight. And commenter “Chitown” notes another fishy fact: Some voters couldn’t even access the site on the last day. “…speaking of crazy random happenstances, how about the fact that people who tried to access the VS site to vote on the last day of voting found this instead? http://twitpic.com/qwrkm“  What are the chances “Melbourne IT” put a freeze on the voting as they tried to alter the results?

The story also insinuates a bunch of other shady factors to take into account.  Consider, for instance, that the only nominee who got a photo shoot with Victoria’s Secret before the vote was Derrick Rose.  Also consider that Sharp had a game Tuesday night and would not have been able to attend the award ceremony.  It all sounds a bit fishy to me.

I guess the lesson here is if a pretty girl tells you you are the sexiest something, it really doesn’t matter if the rest of the city voted some other guy sexiest something.  Oh, and that this city can’t even get a meaningless election right, let alone a real one.

Well the news for Antoine is about to get a lot worse.  In his old neighborhood on Chicago’s south side, there is a building that has been classified as a slum.  Parts of the exterior are falling off, and burst pipes in the basement have flooded the building with, well, shit.  How is Walker involved?  He owns the building:

At one point, bricks fell off the building’s facade, a hazard that went unfixed for months, city records show. Before that, a broken sewer pipe filled the basement with feces, toilet paper and other debris, creating an odor that forced families to move their children out…

[Antoine Walker]’s company owns the building…

Real estate investment companies that list Walker as an investor or principal — Walker Ventures LLC and AW Realty LLC — are the target of more than a dozen lawsuits alleging poor management of numerous properties, unpaid debts and damages caused by shoddy repair work. In one case last month, the city won $950,000 in court-ordered fines against Walker Ventures.

As a basketball player, I never really liked Walker.  He always struck me as that guy on the playground who just kind of hung around the 3 point line always calling for the ball but never passing and complaining about everything.  Off the court he seemed okay, but all these recent incidents don’t exactly cast him in a good light.  In all fairness, he probably has little part in the actual management of the company.  Still, if I put my name on something, I would probably make sure it didn’t have a basement full of poop.

10. Bears Lose to Dolphins and Ruin Undefeated Season

In 1985, the Bears were the best team in the entire NFL.  To this day that ‘85 team is considered one of the best teams of all-time.  They routed the Patriots in the Super Bowl after going 15-1 in the regular season.  That one loss was the only blemish on their otherwise perfect campaign.  On a Monday Night in December the underdog Miami Dolphins, the only team to ever go undefeated with a 14-0 record in 1972, shellacked the Bears in a game to forget.

9. “Dollar” Bill Wirtz Runs The Blackhawks…Into The Ground

Wirtz managed the Hawks for 41 years.  His tenure was marked by stinginess with the fans and the players.  His antics ranged from blacking out games in Chicago to trading away Savard, Chelios, and Roenick.  No one wants to speak ill of the dead, but since his son Rocky took over things have improved significantly.

8. The 6-time Champion Bulls Break up

I know some will think this should be higher on the list, but it was expected and that team did give us 6 championships.  To be honest, we were probably lucky it lasted as long as it did, considering the animosity between most of the players, coaches, and the front office.  Regardless, it was a sad day to see the greatest sports dynasty of our generation finally break up.

7. Cubs Lose 3-1 Lead in 2003 NLCS

The 2003 Cubs were definitely not the best team in baseball record-wise, but they sure were hot going into October.  Then they ran into the eventual world champion Marlins.  While people like to point fingers at different people for why the Cubs blew their 3-1 series lead, everyone can agree that the results were tragic.

6. Michael Jordan Retires After His Father is Murdered

Michael Jordan’s retirement from basketball at the peak of his game in 1993 shocked the entire sports world.  The tragic events surrounding his father’s death stirred emotions inside all Americans.  Jordan went on to have a short, unsuccessful stint in baseball before returning to the game he loved and that loved him back.

5. Chicago Bulls Legends Stormin’ Norman Van Lier and Johnny Red Kerr Die Within 24 Hours

On February 26, 2009, the unthinkable happened.  The two longest-running and most respected members of the Chicago Bulls franchise passed away on the same day.  Johnny “Red” Kerr, former player, coach, and announcer for the Bulls had been sick for some time.  “Stormin’” Norman Van Lier, player and studio analyst, died unexpectedly.  Both will be greatly missed by all true Bulls and basketball fans everywhere.

4. Cubs Blow 9.5 Game Lead in Mid-August to Lose 1969 Pennant

The Cubs had a 9.5 game lead in mid-August over the Mets.  But those damn Miracle Mets just wouldn’t quit, and with the help of the Cubs losing more than 20 games in September, they went on to win the pennant and the World Series.  Supposedly the collapse all started with that black cat in a two-game sweep by the Mets up in Shea Stadium.  The Cubs were heavy favorites to win the NL that year and their collapse will go down in history as one of the worst ever.

3. “Sweetness” Walter Payton Loses Battle With Liver Disease

Walter Payton was the best running back who ever lived.  He was a hard worker on the field and one of the greatest people off of it.  A true role model for everyone, he died far too young after a battle with a rare liver disease called primary sclerosing cholangitis at the young age of 45 in 1999.  His memory will always live on in those who were lucky enough to see him.

2. 1919 Black Sox Scandal

There is a good argument that this should be number 1.  It is definitely the most embarrassing moment in Chicago sports history.  In a city trying desperately to shake its reputation for corruption to this day, the Black Sox scandal was just about the worst thing that could happen.  The 1919 White Sox were considered the best team in all of baseball.  Unfortunately owner Charles Comiskey refused to pay his players decent value for their excellence.  The players decided to make an extra buck by throwing the World Series.  Oops.

1. The Curse of the Billy Goat

Maybe its not the most embarrassing moment, or even anything if you don’t believe in curses, but this moment lives in infamy nationwide.  When Billy Sianis, owner of the Billy Goat Tavern, tried to bring his goat into the park during the 1945 World Series, he was refused.  He ended up cursing the Cubs.  Whether or not its the curse or just mismanagement of the team (or some combination of both), that stupid billy goat comes up every single year that the Cubs don’t win the Series, which is about 102 by my count.

10. The Bears fired Ditka.

9. Jerry Krause famously declared “Teams don’t win championships, organizations win championships.”

8. Bill Wirtz bought the Blackhawks

7. Eddie Cicotte and Shoeless Joe Jackson were unhappy with their paychecks in 1919.

6. Phil Jackson drew up the final play to Toni Kukoc instead of Scottie Pippen in the final 1.8 seconds of the Eastern Conference Finals in 1994.

5. Vince McMahon screwed Bret Hart out of his WWF championship belt.

4. Dusty Baker left Mark Prior in with 1 out in the 7th of Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS.

3. Lovie Smith insisted week after week, “Rex is our quarterback.”

2. Milton Bradley

1. Jay Mariotti went to Copenhagen.

There are probably many more events that have occurred in Chicago and the US at large that either directly or indirectly led to this bullshit Olympic snub.  Please feel free to add your own in the comments.  Tulsa 2020?

"I'm a giant, loudmouthed idiot."

Well that didn’t take long.  After railing against print media and how its dying, Mariotti left the Sun-Times to take his lucrative gig at AOL Fanhouse and focus more on his awful, awful appearances on ESPN’s Around the Horn.  Apparently he thinks that he can save print media from extinction, however, since he is now returning to it in the form of a weekly column for the Chicago Tribune:

I’ve learned that effective September 1, Mariotti will join the Tribune as a weekly columnist – this the same man who spent nearly two decades mocking the same venerable daily which now extends him a byline…Mariotti’s contractual non-compete clause with the Sun-Times officially expires at the end of August, one year after he quit his position. So you can expect his ink-jetted invective to begin emanating from the Tribune in September.

This guy clearly has no shame.  On the bright side, we can be sure he will provide plenty of fodder for Chicago sports bloggers and fans alike to rip on.  I’m curious how (or if) he will try to explain that writing for the Trib is somehow not inconsistent with his earlier bullshit about print media dying (side note: it is dying, but that’s not the point).  I hope he gets in another feud with Ozzie, that would be fun.

***UPDATE: Apparently the Tribune is denying these rumors, but I’ve got a gut feeling that Jay will be writing for the Trib in some form or another very soon.  We’ll see how this plays out.

Cubs Injury Issues: Now Zambrano gets scratched with back problems.  It’s been a season-long injury issue with this team, with Fukudome and Theriot being the only real iron-men on the team.  How are the Cubs supposed to live up to the potential of their ridiculous payroll when none of the big money spent is even taking the field on a regular basis?  Can we blame the trainers? Or Hendry for signing a team full of players made from glass?

Richard Dent Gets Screwed: It’s a real shame that this kind of thing happens.  Richard Dent is one of the greatest defensive ends in the history of the game.  He dominated the position on what was the best defense of all time.  Be it journalists, or veteran’s committees, or whatever, the selection processes for professional halls of fame needs to be amended to actually let in hall of famers.  Dent had 137.5 sacks and was the Super Bowl XX MVP.  He created more turnovers and havoc in the backfield than any end in NFL history.  Why he didn’t get in the Hall is beyond me.

Broncos Fans Boo Orton: Broncos fans really suck.  I mean they are just terrible.  Apparently Orton got booed for having a bad practice.  Not a bad game or series of practices; one bad practice.  Gee I wonder why Cutler wanted out of Denver.

Kevin Gregg is Still Having a Better Season Than Kerry Wood: Even though he blew 2 saves last weekend, his numbers are still far better than Woody’s this year.  Gregg and the entire bullpen has just been overworked and needs some time to rest their arms.  Unfortunately that may or may not happen.

Obama Almost Wore a Cardinals Jersey: I really want to like this guy.  I do.  He says all the right things to make me believe he can turn this country around and he has pretty good handles on the hardwood.  Then he stalls on health care, makes some terrible appointments, continues many of the old failed policies of the last administration, wears a White Sox jacket, and now this.  Apparently he almost wore a Cardinal’s jersey at the All-Star game.  That would have literally lost my vote right there (not to mention make me vomit in my mouth a little bit).  Thank god he didn’t do it.

Hoffpauir Sent Down, Soto Called Up: It’s a numbers game, I get that, but why do the Cubs have to send down Hoffpauir?  Although his average has slipped a bit since he gets less consistent playing time, he still has the power numbers to be an effective left-handed option off the bench.  I mean do we need Scott Baker, Mike Fontenot, Andres Blanco, and Aaron Miles on the squad?  How about send Aaron Miles down, that guy sucks and everyone knows it.

Bulls Save Some Money on Tim Thomas: The Bulls bought out Tim Thomas’s contract which was worth 6.4 million but they only paid 4.8 million.  Every little bit of cap space helps.  I’m still wondering who will shoot the 3 on this team though.

Ben Wallace Returns To Detroit: Just kidding, even I don’t give a shit about this.

I Just Don’t Like Matt Holliday, Why Do I Need a Reason?: Either Mozeliak, LaRussa, or Holliday himself sold his soul so that Holliday, who had been hitting just .276 with 8 home runs before the break, all of a sudden is hitting .525 with 4 home runs since being acquired by the Cards.  I hate that whole team, and Holliday is no exception.  I’m sure he’ll do some classless Cardinal-like thing soon enough (that organization is character poison) to give me a good reason to hate him, but in the meantime I just don’t like him and I have no good reason.

Fine, Gordon Beckham is Good, But At Least I Was Right About Carlos Quentin Being a Fluke: The title says it all.  I was skeptical about both Beckham and Quentin this winter after every Sox fan I talked to told me Quentin was the second coming and Beckham will be great.  Quentin is not the second coming.  Don’t you find it odd he didn’t come up to the majors until he was 27?  And don’t even start with the “he’s been injured” crap.  If anything that just means he is injury-prone, proving me correct that last year was a fluke.  Props to Beckham though, that kid is filthy.

Marlins Little “Goat” Stunt Not Appreciated By Sweet Lou: Who cares Lou?  If the goat and the curse are all bullshit, then it doesn’t matter.  I’m sure you get sick of that stuff, but getting mad about it only brings more attention to the idiots who mock the Cubs.  I never thought I would say this, but Lou needs to just shut up about this stuff.  No one would have even batted an eye if he didn’t get all worked up about it.

The Return of Fire Joe Morgan: My favorite sports blog of all time will be returning (sort of) for one day.  On September 16, the old crew from FJM consisting of Dak, Ken Tremendous, and Junior will be running Deadspin for a day.  Hopefully it inspires them to start writing FJM again, but either way it should be fun.

Some White Sox Fans Might Be Actually Retarded: Not to be too rude, but how can you not laugh a little at how dumb some Sox fans are when you see this picture.  Did you really think Rowand was spelled “R-O-W-A-D-N”?

The “Derrick Rose Had A Rough Summer” Story is Bullshit: He didn’t have a tough summer, okay?  The two stories this is referring to are the gang sign thing and the SAT cheating thing.  Both are bullshit.  No one cares that he might have made a gang sign to a camera one time in college.  And he didn’t cheat, he was proven innocent pretty convincingly.  Here’s the real story of D-Rose’s summer: He tried out with Team USA, worked on his jumpers, and probably bought a lot of cool stuff with all his new money.  I don’t want to hear about the “cheating” or the gang signs anymore, okay mainstream media?

Tom Gorzelanny Can Pitch, and He Looks Like Sloth from the Goonies: So he probably isn’t as good as he was in his start for the Cubs, but to be honest all we need is 3-4 halfway decent starts from him until Lilly comes back.  If he pitches really well for the next couple weeks and its a tough decision whether to send him down or keep him in the rotation, that is the kind of tough decision a team wants to have.  Oh yeah, and he looks like Sloth from the Goonies.

Let’s Get Real, The Peavy Trade Probably Won’t Mean Much This Season: I know this will sound like sour grapes, but seriously, if he comes back healthy he can make 3 starts in September.  If the Sox make the playoffs, which seems less and less likely, then he can definitely be a factor.  Otherwise, this signing was for the future.  The Sox rotation will be formidable with Buerhle and Peavy at the top and Danks and Floyd at the 3 and 4 for the next few years.

Anyways, I know I’ve been out of the loop for a few days and this is old news to most of you, but apparently ex-Bears shitty wide receiver Bobby Wade claims Urlacher called Jay Cutler a pussy.  The only controversy here seems to be one drummed up by the media, since Urlacher and Cutler get along just fine.  Here’s Jay Cutler Superstar’s take on the whole situation:

Is it OK if I hope he did say it? Didn’t Buddy Ryan’s defense loathe Mike Ditka’s offense? And really, unless it affects the way Jay Cutler throws 15-yard outs, is it that big of a deal? Maybe. More likely it is not. But it all goes back to this: Chicago finally has a franchise QB. And we are all going to freak out about it.

I couldn’t agree more.  All we need is Lovie Smith and Rod Marinelli giving each other black eyes in the locker room at halftime a la Ditka/Ryan and we’ll be back in the Super Bowl in no time.

Ozzie Guillen on managing: “I’m always bored,” Guillen said. “I’m not playing. You’re sitting around for seven innings. My game starts in the sixth [or] seventh inning. That’s when you see me look around the stands a lot, because you play this game for that many years and coach it and be there for that many years and you’re just managing, it’s a boring game all day for me.” So boring, in fact, that as Guillen headed up the steps and out of the press room he admitted that he started counting the number of people in the stands who had his name on the back of their jerseys. “I counted 35,” he said, trying to forget about his team’s performance.

Some Cubs fan at the Cubs-Phillies game in Philly: Sat next to a Cubs fan who explained repeatedly that the Cubs could have signed Raul Ibanez instead of Milton Bradley (though Ibanez signed in Philly first) and that Alfonso Soriano will swing at any breaking ball out of the zone “just like every other Latin American in the major leagues.”

A caption written by William Ligue III on his Myspace page under a picture of him and his father beating up Tom Gamboa, a base coach for the Royals: “ME AND DAD FUCKIN UP THA COACH FA THA KANSAS CITY ROYALS.”

Another rival wide receiver (Donald Driver this time) on how Bears wide receivers suck: “I think Chicago did a great job, and Lovie Smith went out there and got Jay Cutler to lead this team, but one thing they don’t have is they don’t have the receiver group,” Driver said. ”They have the running back, they have the offensive line and they have a great defense. But you’re going to have to need receivers to make plays down the field, and they don’t have that right now.”

Jerry Reinsdorf on running the Bulls: “But the only way you can avoid making a mistake is not to make a decision.”

Hawk Harrelson’s new catchphrase: “Yes, hell yes!”

Marian Hossa on playing in Chicago, after coming from Detroit (affectionately known as “hockeytown”): “It’s great to be in a hockey town,” said Hossa, who had 40 goals and 31 assists for the Wings last season. “This is a sports town, a great town. The city is great and the fans are great. There’s not much not to like about this city.”

Ozzie’s quote is the funniest but Reinsdorf’s is the most concerning.  Really, Jerry?  I mean it makes sense to live in fear after your Ben Wallace mistake, but I’ve got news for you: being scared of your own shadow led to some serious mistakes as well (missing out on Gasol, Bryant, Garnett, Amare, Boozer, etc).

Chicago Cubs

Corey Patterson: The word on Patterson was that he was the next Lou Brock.  After a good half season followed by an injury, his career sputtered out.

Mark Prior: The second pick in the draft behind Joe Mauer, Prior was amazing for a couple seasons, but injuries plagued his career.  He was recently in camp with the Padres but *gasp* went down for the season with an injury.

Kerry Wood: Remember 1998?  He was a rookie when he tied Clemens’ record for most strikeouts in a game with 20.  He always had nagging injury problems and never developed into the Cy Young caliber pitcher everyone thought he could be.  Eventually he was converted to a closer and he has had some success in that role.

Felix Pie:  All you need to know is he was supposed to be the next Corey Patterson.  Yikes.

Chicago White Sox

Gordon Beckham: All I hear Sox fans talk about is Gordon Beckham.  The shortstop of the future they say.  When he finally came up this season, he struggled a bit.  Recently he has been hitting better though, and time will tell whether he pans out.

Joe Borchard: He was given the largest signing bonus in MLB draft history (until Justin Upton surpassed it).  Unfortunately he only had one stint with the major league club, resulting in a .174 average.  After bouncing around a bit the past couple years, he finally had to undergo Tommy John surgery last season

Josh Fields: Fields came up in August in 2007 and hit 23 home runs between then and the end of the season.  Although he only hit .244, the City had high hopes for him.  Unfortunately Crede came back from injury and started most of the 2008 season.  Fields started this season at 3rd base, but due to poor hitting has been mostly relegated to the bench in recent weeks.

Brian Anderson: The next Willie Mays?  Even I thought so after his ridiculous season in center field a couple years ago.  He was suppsoed to be able to hit too, but unfortunately that never happened.

Chicago Bulls

Jamal Crawford: The Bulls used a lottery pick on this guy, who was supposed to be an elite scorer.  Unfortunately his poor poor defense and terrible shot selection doomed him to mediocrity.  He was recently traded to the Atlanta Hawks, where I’m guessing he will score about 17 points a game while shooting 38% from the field.

Marcus Fizer:  He was the big low post scoring presence the Bulls needed.  Until he sucked.  Terrible player.

Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler (Baby Bulls): Krause traded Elton Brand for the rights to select Chandler 2nd in the draft and then took Curry 4th.  Curry never tried and Chandler never developed into the elite defensive/rebounding  player he was supposed to be.  Until he got traded to New Orleans of course.

Tyrus Thomas: John Paxson traded Aldridge for Tyrus on draft day and most people thought it was a great move.  Tyrus is athletic and has a ton of upside and was only 19 years old.  Oops.  So far he has never taken the step from high talent/low IQ, and has been in all kinds of recent trade rumors.

Derrick Rose: Too early to tell, but most think he will be a perennial all-star at least and a hall of famer at best.  We’ll see.

Chicago Bears

Curtis Enis: His ridiculous college numbers at Penn State did not translate into much of anything.  He had a decent second season, almost breaking 1000 yards, but never made any noise in the NFL again.

Rashaan Salaam: After winning the Heisman in college, he rushed for 1,000 yards in his rookie season with the Bears.  Everyone thought he was going to be a starter in the league for a long time.  Too bad he could never cure his fumbleitis, and the injuries didn’t help.

Cade McNown: This quarterback from UCLA was going to be the best quarterback the Bears had since, well, ever.  Or so people thought.  He was young and perhaps did not deserve all the criticism and booing he got, but his performance on the field did not exactly light up any opposing defenses.

Rex Grossman: Oh the Sex Cannon.  There’s not much to be said about him that hasn’t already been said.  I love the guy, but he just couldn’t see over his line and made so many bad decisions.  He was the quarterback that went to the Super Bowl in 2006, however (note how I didn’t say he “took” the Bears to the Super Bowl).

Brian Urlacher: Hey hey!  Someone that actually panned out.  He was a safety in college, but the Bears immediately moved him to outside linebacker and eventually to the middle.  He was one of the dominant players at his position for the last decade.

David Terrell: The Bears needed receivers (sound familiar?) and turned to this standout from the University of Michigan.  Someone forgot to tell us he couldn’t catch the ball though.  Out of the league within a few years.

Chicago Blackhawks

Jonathan Toews: Toews and Kane are pretty much inseparable in this discussion.  The Hawks have finally begun to turn things around since old man Wirtz’s death.  Toews had a stellar rookie season, scoring the second most goals on the team behind Kane.  He was named a captain and helped lead the team to the Western Conference Finals this year.

Patrick Kane: Although he looks like he’s 12 and has a finesse (see: soft) game, he has been extremely effective for the Hawks.  He won Rookie of the Year and continues to dazzle hockey fans.  Also helped lead the Hawks to the Western Conference Finals alongside Toews this season.

Anyone Else from 1999-2006: I didn’t follow the team and I’m guessing most of you didn’t.  I have no real memory of a “chosen one” from the Hawks during this time.  If you can think of one let me know.  We’ll call these “the lost years”.

I’ll give you a hint, take a look at the building on the left.  It’s the Sun-Times building, right?  Well one minor problem, that building came down about 5 years ago and was replaced by Trump’s wonderful new masterpiece.  Can ESPN really not afford to get a live shot of the City?  And if not, wouldn’t it be better not to LIE and make us think that’s a live shot?  ESPN is so awesome.

h/t: Deadspin