Making Fun of Dusty Baker is So Much Fun (Aroldis Chapman is in Trouble Edition)
Neither Chicago team won the Aroldis Chapman sweepstakes, but unfortunately for him, Cincinnati did. And you know what that means, don’t you? Dusty Baker + Young Talented Arms = Trouble. That formula has been proven again and again. Thankfully we have The Onion to make up a hilarious fake story that rings a little too close to the truth:
CINCINNATI—Within just a few minutes of Cuban pitcher Aroldis Chapman’s arrival in the United States, Reds manager Dusty Baker had already overused and mangled the 21-year-old’s arm beyond recognition, team sources reported Sunday. Baker, who has been accused of overtaxing young pitchers’ arms in the past, reportedly greeted Chapman with a bucket of 250 baseballs and told him to “hurl them” as fast as he could, later encouraging the fastballer to “go nuts” with his pitching style. “He didn’t even let me stretch out first,” Chapman told reporters through an interpreter. “And when I started to wince from the pain and soreness, he just gave me a thumbs up, winked, and told me to keep throwing.” At press time, Chapman had already been to the hospital for an oblique strain, a torn rotator cuff, and his second Tommy John surgery of the week.
If I didn’t feel so bad for the kid, I would probably be laughing about it. Who am I kidding? I’m definitely laughing about it. Here’s a lesson we Cubs fans can take away from this: Whenever you are frustrated about Lou Piniella just think about Dusty Baker. I guarantee you’ll feel grateful.
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Time January 21, 2010 at 7:35 am
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