Not Qualified To Comment » Move Over Elin, Tiger Cheats on Chicago!

Move Over Elin, Tiger Cheats on Chicago!

December 14, 2009 at 3:00 pm | Golf
By: South Side Sheik

Wipe that smirk off your face Mr. Woods, and while you're at it, gives us our trophy back. We’ll leave it to other blogs to cover which high school senior or octogenarian is coming out of the woodwork claiming to have “relations” with Tiger Woods. Instead, we’ll take a brief look at what impact this whole saga will have on the Chicagoland area and what we can look forward to.

The QTG arm of PepsiCo is headquartered here in Chicago, and has been since the days when Wilford Brimley shilled for Quaker Oats, Michael Jordan swilled the lemon-lime Gatorade, and I spilled the Tropicana Orange Juice all over the lunch table at my elementary school. Having the opportunity to actually visit the Gatorade floors of the building, I imagine it’s as close to visiting the Nike or ESPN campuses in terms of how much athlete flair there is in each office. With the recent introduction of the Tiger Gatorade flavors, I’m sure there are plenty of displays and memorabilia that are being temporarily placed in closets for the time being. Count me as one those who was miffed when Tiger got his own flavor after Michael never did. If Chuck Norris knows what’s good for him, he won’t accept that Walker, Texas Ranger Oatmeal sponsorship.

The New (Old) Savior of Golf

Additionally, Chicago has long hosted the Western Open (recently changed to the BMW Championship) at Cog Hill in nearby Lemont. Through the years, an appearance from Tiger has meant a monster jump in the crowds, especially during the first two rounds when people would skip out on work to see Tiger but not for a Stewart Cink. The Chicagoland golf scene got screwed first when they moved the Western Open from it’s traditional July 4th weekend by the PGA Tour to accommodate the AT&T National, hosted by Tiger Woods. Now, on a short week after the Labor Day weekend, the BMW Championship might be without it’s biggest draw, Tiger.

My suggestion? Screw the guy who cheated on his one wife and go with the guy who has had four wives. Why stick with the guy whose life is going down the drain, when you can have the guy who has righted his ship, lost a ton of weight, and wears funky pants?

That’s right folks, I’m talking John Daly. Not only is he probably the second biggest draw on the Tour (just look at the crowds around his RV when he’s selling merchandise after being eliminated), he could probably bring back Zubaz pants while he’s at it. There are two things that America loves: tearing down those who are successful and famous, and seeing those same celebs turn their lives around years down the road. It just so happens that these two golfers are experiencing these two extremes at the same time.