And with that last painful loss, the Bears have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.  Not to say that anyone in their right mind thought they had a shot even if they somehow miraculously beat the Pack, but the reality of it is now undeniable.  So what does that mean for Bears fans?  Well it means the only value we get from our Bears is looking forward to the possibility of next year.  (And yes, I know I am not addressing the Bears-Packers game directly, its like looking directly into the sun, way too painful)  While there are a lot of things that appear to be positives for next season, I’m way too pissed about not having anymore meaningful football in Chicago this year to see the bright sides.  Thus, I’m going to shoot down every myth about how we are going to “improve” next season.

Lovie And Angelo will be gone and a new coach/GM combo will come in and turn things around: Wrong!  Cowher has basically said he would rather be a GM than a coach and Shanahan has no reason to come to a bad team when so many other teams have been reported to want him.  If the Bears get a new coach, it will not likely be one of those two names.  Even if it is (or they get someone else who is good), they will be unable to fix any of the problems the Bears have, since they are too stingy to get a big-name free agent and have no legitimate high draft picks to improve the team.

The Offensive Line Will Improve Now That They’ve Had a Year to Gel: I’m hoping no one really believes this one is a possibility.  Pace will be older (if that’s possible, I mean he already looks prehistoric).  Omiyale will be gone or just as bad.  Chris Williams was okay at best but nothing to get excited about.  Kreutz is small, overrated, and a terrible run-blocker.  To improve at the O-Line, the Bears would literally need to tear it down and reconstruct it from scratch.  Seems unlikely in only one offseason since they haven’t been able to do it in the 4 offseasons prior to this one.

The Defense Won’t be so Bad, Urlacher will be Healthy: Sure, Urlacher’s injury exposed the defense for what it was, an aging unit playing in an outdated system.  The question is, will his return really mean a return to prominence for the entire defense?  He sure hasn’t looked young the last few years and the rest of the defense managed to regress horribly in his absence.  Don’t count on him being a cure-all, the d-line is overrated, the secondary is nonexistent, and Hunter Hillenmeyer is, well, Hunter Hillenmeyer.

Matt Forte Just Had a Sophomore Slump: Come on now.  We are the fan base that lived through the Enis and Salaam disasters.  I know I tried to argue he was different earlier this season, but have you been watching the games?  He has no speed, average strength, and can’t seem to find any real holes (although to his credit, the o-line isn’t exactly creating the holes).  He’s an average back at best.  End of story.

Jay Cutler Will Know His Receivers Better: I don’t even know where to begin with this one.  I guess the first question is “What receivers?”  If your first thought when you think of receivers is “Who is our #1, Hester, Bennett, or Knox?” you know you have problems.  That being said, the rapport he has with his receivers now is non-existent.  Every single incompletion or interception raises the issue of who wasn’t on the same page.  It’s Week 13 for god’s sakes!  If they aren’t on the same page by now, they won’t ever be.  Is Cutler to blame in all this?  Probably, but those wideouts all suck.

Maybe Ron Turner Isn’t Retarded: Just kidding, I don’t think anyone believes this.  Turner is a complete moron.

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Tags: Bears Suck, Suck Suck Suck