Not Qualified To Comment » A Week’s Worth of Ranting and Raving

A Week’s Worth of Ranting and Raving

August 8, 2009 at 9:57 am | Chicago
By: Stormin' Norman Disciple

Astros Cubs Baseball As some of you noticed (or not), I have been absent from NQTC since last Sunday. As a result, South Side Sheik and StevieY19 managed to maintain the site using dignity, research, and well-thought out arguments and analysis about serious topics in sports. Booorrrring. So I’ve returned to bring the integrity of the site back down to earth where it belongs. Here are a few stories you may have missed in the last week which were too dumb for my co-bloggers to write or rant about.

Cubs Injury Issues: Now Zambrano gets scratched with back problems. It’s been a season-long injury issue with this team, with Fukudome and Theriot being the only real iron-men on the team. How are the Cubs supposed to live up to the potential of their ridiculous payroll when none of the big money spent is even taking the field on a regular basis? Can we blame the trainers? Or Hendry for signing a team full of players made from glass?

Richard Dent Gets Screwed: It’s a real shame that this kind of thing happens. Richard Dent is one of the greatest defensive ends in the history of the game. He dominated the position on what was the best defense of all time. Be it journalists, or veteran’s committees, or whatever, the selection processes for professional halls of fame needs to be amended to actually let in hall of famers. Dent had 137.5 sacks and was the Super Bowl XX MVP. He created more turnovers and havoc in the backfield than any end in NFL history. Why he didn’t get in the Hall is beyond me.

Broncos Fans Boo Orton: Broncos fans really suck. I mean they are just terrible. Apparently Orton got booed for having a bad practice. Not a bad game or series of practices; one bad practice. Gee I wonder why Cutler wanted out of Denver.

Kevin Gregg is Still Having a Better Season Than Kerry Wood: Even though he blew 2 saves last weekend, his numbers are still far better than Woody’s this year. Gregg and the entire bullpen has just been overworked and needs some time to rest their arms. Unfortunately that may or may not happen.

Obama Almost Wore a Cardinals Jersey: I really want to like this guy. I do. He says all the right things to make me believe he can turn this country around and he has pretty good handles on the hardwood. Then he stalls on health care, makes some terrible appointments, continues many of the old failed policies of the last administration, wears a White Sox jacket, and now this. Apparently he almost wore a Cardinal’s jersey at the All-Star game. That would have literally lost my vote right there (not to mention make me vomit in my mouth a little bit). Thank god he didn’t do it.

Hoffpauir Sent Down, Soto Called Up: It’s a numbers game, I get that, but why do the Cubs have to send down Hoffpauir? Although his average has slipped a bit since he gets less consistent playing time, he still has the power numbers to be an effective left-handed option off the bench. I mean do we need Scott Baker, Mike Fontenot, Andres Blanco, and Aaron Miles on the squad? How about send Aaron Miles down, that guy sucks and everyone knows it.

Bulls Save Some Money on Tim Thomas: The Bulls bought out Tim Thomas’s contract which was worth 6.4 million but they only paid 4.8 million. Every little bit of cap space helps. I’m still wondering who will shoot the 3 on this team though.

Ben Wallace Returns To Detroit: Just kidding, even I don’t give a shit about this.

I Just Don’t Like Matt Holliday, Why Do I Need a Reason?: Either Mozeliak, LaRussa, or Holliday himself sold his soul so that Holliday, who had been hitting just .276 with 8 home runs before the break, all of a sudden is hitting .525 with 4 home runs since being acquired by the Cards. I hate that whole team, and Holliday is no exception. I’m sure he’ll do some classless Cardinal-like thing soon enough (that organization is character poison) to give me a good reason to hate him, but in the meantime I just don’t like him and I have no good reason.

Fine, Gordon Beckham is Good, But At Least I Was Right About Carlos Quentin Being a Fluke: The title says it all. I was skeptical about both Beckham and Quentin this winter after every Sox fan I talked to told me Quentin was the second coming and Beckham will be great. Quentin is not the second coming. Don’t you find it odd he didn’t come up to the majors until he was 27? And don’t even start with the “he’s been injured” crap. If anything that just means he is injury-prone, proving me correct that last year was a fluke. Props to Beckham though, that kid is filthy.

Marlins Little “Goat” Stunt Not Appreciated By Sweet Lou: Who cares Lou? If the goat and the curse are all bullshit, then it doesn’t matter. I’m sure you get sick of that stuff, but getting mad about it only brings more attention to the idiots who mock the Cubs. I never thought I would say this, but Lou needs to just shut up about this stuff. No one would have even batted an eye if he didn’t get all worked up about it.

The Return of Fire Joe Morgan: My favorite sports blog of all time will be returning (sort of) for one day. On September 16, the old crew from FJM consisting of Dak, Ken Tremendous, and Junior will be running Deadspin for a day. Hopefully it inspires them to start writing FJM again, but either way it should be fun.

Some White Sox Fans Might Be Actually Retarded: Not to be too rude, but how can you not laugh a little at how dumb some Sox fans are when you see this picture. Did you really think Rowand was spelled “R-O-W-A-D-N”?

The “Derrick Rose Had A Rough Summer” Story is Bullshit: He didn’t have a tough summer, okay? The two stories this is referring to are the gang sign thing and the SAT cheating thing. Both are bullshit. No one cares that he might have made a gang sign to a camera one time in college. And he didn’t cheat, he was proven innocent pretty convincingly. Here’s the real story of D-Rose’s summer: He tried out with Team USA, worked on his jumpers, and probably bought a lot of cool stuff with all his new money. I don’t want to hear about the “cheating” or the gang signs anymore, okay mainstream media?

Tom Gorzelanny Can Pitch, and He Looks Like Sloth from the Goonies: So he probably isn’t as good as he was in his start for the Cubs, but to be honest all we need is 3-4 halfway decent starts from him until Lilly comes back. If he pitches really well for the next couple weeks and its a tough decision whether to send him down or keep him in the rotation, that is the kind of tough decision a team wants to have. Oh yeah, and he looks like Sloth from the Goonies.

Let’s Get Real, The Peavy Trade Probably Won’t Mean Much This Season: I know this will sound like sour grapes, but seriously, if he comes back healthy he can make 3 starts in September. If the Sox make the playoffs, which seems less and less likely, then he can definitely be a factor. Otherwise, this signing was for the future. The Sox rotation will be formidable with Buerhle and Peavy at the top and Danks and Floyd at the 3 and 4 for the next few years.