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Deep Thoughts On The Chicago Cubs

May 27, 2009 at 9:00 am | Chicago Cubs
By: Stormin' Norman Disciple

I have been busy as hell with studying for the Bar lately, so I haven’t had a whole lot of time to comment on the Cubs current situation. It’s not that the 8-game losing streak isn’t a big deal, but how they’ve lost has been painful to watch. Here are a few thoughts regarding the North Side Shitheads that have been on my mind:

Where are Hoffpauir and Koyie Hill? They got the start last night and it paid off, but Lou needs to go with the hot (or even lukewarm) bat at this point. I know Soto and Lee are team leaders, but if they aren’t hitting and the team isn’t scoring runs, its time to make a change.
Hey Milton Bradley: Shut up. I’m not saying you’re wrong, in fact you are totally right. Everyone knows the umps are calling a bigger strike zone for you. They do it because they don’t like you. You know what won’t make them like you? Publicly bitching about the strike zone they are calling for you.
Is it really time to hit the panic button? Because if it is, the Cubs should consider two guys that are raking down in the minors. Jake Fox and Josh Vitters are crushing the ball down on the farm, so why not bring one or both of them up? I know that would mean we would have to send someone down, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you didn’t see the Harden DL thing coming, you are blind or retarded.
Someone take Neal Cotts out behind a shed and put a bullet in him. That guy is just terrible. I don’t care if we don’t have any lefties, I’m sure there are righties in the pen with better ERAs against lefties than Cotts. Well I’m not completely sure, but Cotts sucks. Send his ass down. I wish we had another starter so we could move Marshall to the bullpen. Jake Peavy anyone?
Ok this is a little out there, but did anyone consider moving Soriano to 2nd base and giving Reed Johnson and Micah Hoffpauir some more ABs in the outfield? I know Fonzy is sub-par defensively, but runs are hard to come by these days.
Lou Piniella is a great manager. I mean I love the guy. I don’t agree with every decision he makes, but he is usually good at managing and motivating his players and he seems to have a pretty good understanding of the game. That being said, this recent quote from him has got to be a joke:

Modern technology is a wonderful thing for 21st Century baseball managers, who have computerized scouting reports and stats at their fingertips at all times. But sometimes older is better, and after watching his players go back to the video room one too many times to replay poor at-bats, manager Lou Piniella is ready to put his foot down.

“We’ve talked about closing down the video [room],” Piniella said. “But what happens invariably is the pitching coach will go down there from time to time, and so will the hitting coach.

“But if we have to, we’ll close it down for the players, at least during the game. Visualization is a great tool. But at the same time, boy, visualize good things. Don’t keep putting bad pictures in your mind.”

That sort of has a Dusty Baker ring to it, doesn’t it?

This isn’t really related to the Cubs play on the field, but have you seen the new hats the Cubs are selling? I think these goofy hats have gone a bit too far. Apparently it is called the “Watermelon Smoothie“. I mean the baseball gods cannot be happy about this kind of thing, can they?
If you would have told me Kosuke Fukudome would be the only Cub hitting over .300 on May 27, I would have laughed and asked you if you drank the acid-laced punch. Well here we are, and lost in all this horrible horrible shitty 8-game losing streak has been Kosuke’s resurgence this season. His home run last night wasn’t bad either.
Is Aramis Ramirez the glue in this Cubs lineup? I mean ever since he went down it’s like no one can seem to hit. I’m not sure what his clubhouse presence is like, but just having him in the lineup seems to make the other players around him better. Hurry back Rammy!