I’m generally a pretty hostile, confrontational guy, so I have decided that I will be doing a regular post about things that are pissing me off.  Mostly they will be sports-related, but there are other things that piss me off too that might get mentioned.  I’m not entirely sure how often I will do this feature; it will depend on how popular it is.  Anyways, here is the first edition, in bullet point form, of things that piss me off right now.

• The Cubs Bullpen: What is the deal?  All the guys that were successful in spring training suck and the ones that sucked in spring training still suck.  Marmol is the only good thing in the bullpen, and that makes me even angrier because it means Lou will overuse him and shred his arm.  Cotts and Gregg are complete garbage and Heilman and Guzman are sub-par at best.  Sure the Cubs will win a lot of games and probably take the division, but a bad bullpen is what blows it in the playoffs.  What the fuck was Hendry thinking letting Wood walk and signing Gregg?  It didn’t save much money at all and now the Cubs have a huge hole.
• People That Think Golf Umbrellas are Appropriate for Walking Around Downtown: This has to be a joke.  One or two of these are okay, but why does every other person have an umbrella that would provide shade for an army?  Those giant umbrellas are for the golf course, retards.  I got hit twice on my way to work and one time I almost got poked in the eye!  Spend $5 and get a smaller umbrella dumbasses.
• Brad Miller’s Defense: Everyone can agree that the big midseason trade was beneficial for the Bulls.  Salmons is an all-around talent that has filled in for Deng nicely (and even outperformed him in a lot of ways).  Miller brings a great veteran presence that can rebound and pass very well for a big man.  Here’s the problem.  He literally cannot play defense, and for some reason Vinny Del Idiot keeps giving him minutes in crucial situations.  There was a game against Minnesota earlier this year where Al Jefferson literally backed Miller down and scored on him on 4 consecutive plays.  Yet Vinny left Miller in the game!  And we lost!  Now his bad defense is killing us in the playoffs and Vinny still doesn’t get it.  I guess its hard to blame Miller for being the slowest man on the planet.  This is more Vinny’s fault for leaning too heavily on Miller, whose defense folds under the weight like a lawn chair.
• Tony LaRussa: Is this guy kidding?  Complaining about the Cubs making comments about umpires?  Will this guy’s luck ever run out?  He is a dick with the players, media, and fans.  He drinks and drives.  He makes completely illogical managing decisions that cost his team runs (batting the pitcher 8th to have “two” leadoff men?  I thought it was a joke, but he really did that).  And somehow the Cardinals continue to win games, year after year.  How?  What deal with the devil did LaRussa make to have this continued success?    God, I can’t stand this f#$%ing guy.
• Attention Deficit Disorder: I’m calling bullshit on this entire “disorder”.  Before I continue, let me just say I was diagnosed with it as a kid, and I still think it’s bullshit.  I don’t get how it’s a disorder to not be able to pay attention when something is boring.  It’s boring, that’s why its hard to focus!  If it was interesting and held my attention, then I wouldn’t be bored!  Now there’s “Adult ADD”.  That is pure bullshit.  If you are 30 and you can’t sit still through a 3 hour presentation about legal research, you don’t need a pill.  You need to calm the f#$% down and tough it out.  Or go work somewhere that doesn’t require you to ACT LIKE AN ADULT.

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Tags: ADD, Cubs Bullpen, Tony LaRussa, Umbrellas