Brett Favre Drops an F-5
This hilarious, and gross, story comes from Deadspin’s “Waxing Off” feature. In this edition the ladies were talking about their alleged experience dating professional athletes. This particular story involved a date with a professional baseball player who was describing a contest going on among some athletes. I don’t feel too comfortable describing it, so here it is:
Apparently, there was/is some sort of competition centered on “who can take the largest dump” among a circle of professional athletes…When one member of the circle produced a worthy effort, a cell phone picture of the item would then be captured and distributed to all participants in the club. The substance was then ranked on a tornado scale from F1 to F5 by all members. F5 represented the most intense deliveries.
Okay, those are the rules then, simple enough. What happens next, I would feel comfortable explaining, but it definitely speaks for itself.
As my date strode out of the bathroom, he was starting at his cell phone in rapture. He handed me his cell phone as he sat down, providing no context as to what I was about to observe. So when I first glanced at the picture, I had to really peer at it to comprehend what I was looking at … and when realization set in, I started shaking my head violently, literally throwing the phone at him across the table…
And then he stated, completely straight-faced, “Favre just dropped an F-5.”
Well that’s just amazing. Over/under is set at 2.5 weeks until Stormin’ Norman tries to start a similar competition.
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