AL Central Preview: Who Will Emerge The Tallest Midget?
Don’t ever say we don’t listen to our readers’ input. Due to the bitching and whining of NQTC’s Sox fans, I went out and found someone to write about the South Siders. So here is General Zod, who will be writing once a week about whatever Sox story suits his fancy. StevieY and I will be redirecting our Sox insults from the readers to him. Enjoy!
The prognosticators have spoken! Since the White Sox have lost 3 home runs from the line-up (Ken Griffey Jr.), 4 quality starts against the Royals (Javier Vazquez), and 2 healthy months of Joe Crede at third base, the White Sox are predicted to finish no better than third and likely dead last in the AL Central by baseball experts everywhere. With this in mind, let’s size up the division to see what the southsiders are up against.
First off, we have the Tigers who released veteran slugger Gary Sheffield in an effort to gain more versatility from the DH spot according to GM Dave Dombrowski…whatever the hell that means. This move seems inexplicable since, according to most reports, Sheffield was back to health this year and 
considered a good teammate during his stay in Detroit. He joins Damien Easley as the highest paid player to ever watch Tiger games from the comfort of his own couch. Add to Detroit’s woes the fact that Joel Zumaya has rekindled his love affair with the disabled list and he has taken Dontrelle Willis with him. Lastly, how could a team who signed Miguel Cabrera to a multimillion dollar deal have a minor league affiliate that is offering a 4 lb,
4800 calorie hamburger just a country drive away from Comerica Park?
Cabrera will likely gain 75 lbs. by the All-Star break with this tasty morsel tempting him every time the Tigers play at home!
Take the Indians…please (insert polite laughter)! Here we have an offense predicated on productivity from two hitters, the first of which is Victor Martinez. Martinez decided to hit his first home run last season towards the end of August and finished with a whopping total of two dingers. You can blame injuries if you’d like, but unless this guy had his leg amputated, there is no injury in the world that you can blame this lack of productivity during a season of 250+ AB’s. That leaves Travis Hafner to carry an even heavier load, a task he has not been up to since he signed his $57 million contract extension in 2007. Unless Cliff Lee can repeat his stellar 2008 season and make approximately 80 starts this season, the Indians will need to score some runs from these two players in the middle of the order.
The Royals traded for Mike Jacobs and got a little better in an already promising bullpen. Yawn. If the Royals win more than 75 games, I will light myself on fire.
That leaves the dreaded piranhas, those pesky Twins from Minnesota, a team so close in talent to the 2008 White Sox that only ½ game separated the two in the standings. This offseason they complemented that version with a gold-glove caliber, 30 HR threat third baseman in Joe Crede. His right handed bat complements Justin Morneau’s thunder in the lineup the way the Twins had hoped Delmon Young would last season. They had pretty good productivity from a starting rotation that got much better with the return of Francisco Liriano. Still, the Twins bullpen was underwhelming last season and it’s difficult to discern any improvement that has been made. Crede’s health is an even bigger concern on the artificial turf of the HHH dome. Even Joe Mauer has suffered some back soreness that seems to be lingering throughout spring training and may impact part of this season.
The economic climate forced many teams to fill some holes with lackluster talent, and the AL Central is a perfect example of such a trend. Last season was so close it took an extra calendar day to figure it all out, and this season will be no different. So don’t let Peter Gammons get you down, Sox fans…we just might get to lose again in the ALDS this year too!
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