New Shirt Gives Athletes Superhuman Abilities
NQTC reader Glook pointed out to me that there was some new Adidas tank top that supposedly increases a wearer’s vertical leap by 4%. A shirt. Not supplements or shoes, a shirt. After he showed me an ad from a magazine, I finally bought in. I find this very difficult to believe, but Adidas seems to stand by its claim. According to the Adidas Press Room, the shirt increases speed and power as well:
[A]didas TECHFIT has been tested on the ultimate stage most notably by 2009 NBA All-Star Dwight Howard. TECHFIT PowerWeb is proven to increase speed by 1.1 percent, improve vertical leap by 4 percent, increase power output by 5.3 percent and increase overall endurance levels.
What exactly is “power output”? I assume that this does not increase verrtical leap unless it is more aerodynamic somehow and the person they tested it on was jumping in front of a giant turbine or exhaust fan or something. Can we get one of these for Aaron Gray? Oh and if Adidas would be kind enough to create a shirt that makes someone be less of a retard, we should buy one for Tyrus.