Boom, Roasted. Big Ten Basketball Edition
In the spirit of Michael Scott and the Office, we roasted the Chicago Bulls a while back and got a pretty good response. It’s probably because the Bulls are so hilariously awful, but here we go again with the basketball teams of the Big Ten.
Purdue, every time someone slips on the court, I still blame it on Gene Keady’s hair. Boom, roasted.
Illinois, I don’t know where you got this idea, but your offense isn’t fun to watch just because you shoot buzzer beaters against the shot clock every possession. Boom, roasted.
Indiana, how bad does it suck now that your basketball team is just as bad as your football….hold on, I’m getting a text from Coach Sampson. Boom, roasted.
Michigan, you can take the coaches out of the mediocre West Virginia, but you can’t take the mediocre out of the coaches. Boom, roasted.
Wisconsin, you’ve been winning games with the same seven guys for the past ten years because no one cares. Boom, roasted.
Ohio State, the only things that stoop lower than your university’s integrity are your ridiculous shorts. Boom, roasted.
Penn State, how long until all your students mindlessly singing and jumping to Zombie Nation becomes ironic? Boom, roasted.
Minnesota, the entire African American population of your state is on your basketball team, and those three guys suck. Boom, roasted.
Iowa, the best athletes at your school wear unitards and roll around with dudes. Boom, roasted.
Michigan State, your coach is an angry dwarf. Boom, roasted.
Northwestern, your colors used to be red and yellow until everyone else in the conference beat the hell out of you for 50 years. Boom, roasted.
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Comment from Frigidaire Dehumidifier
Time September 23, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Shuld be a matter of time before Michigan is back. Beilian is too good of a coach.
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Comment from Schembechler’s Army
Time March 12, 2009 at 12:11 pm
You mistakenly forgot to finish your “Boom Roast” of Michigan. Thus, it comes off as a very hateful dig at John Bielein, with none of the sincerity and love that accompanies the Michael Scott signature line.
Could it be that StevieY is still a closet Tommy Amaker fan?