Ron Kittle Thinks Canseco’s a Marked Man?
Former White Sox player and 1983 American League Rookie of the Year Ron Kittle says that he fears for Jose Canseco’s safety. Right, snitches and stitches and all that; Peyton Manning taught me all about it. Here are some Kittle quotes from the Trib:
“My first thought was: ‘I wonder who’s going to be the first one to shoot him,’ ” Kittle said Monday. “I still think somebody who might have had their life ruined might take vengeance on him. If I were [Canseco], I would think about that.
“But I was more scared of my father than I was of anything else. I thought that if I did something stupid, my father would probably take my life away anyway.”
Wow, that’s dark Ronnie. I get what he’s saying though, there are probably plenty of people who want to go after Jose for all the trouble he has caused. Here are five guys that Jose should be on the lookout for:
- A-Rod- Obviously, the golden boy and fan favorite to break Barry’s home run record has a bone to pick with Canseco. When Jose first accused him, it was very surprising, but turns out he was right on the mark. Plus, I could see Madonna figuring into this somehow; probably convincing A-Rod to do it so she can run off with Jeter…or Joba.
- Mark McGwire- The ex-bash brother came out of the steroid hearings as the shadiest player that we could actually understand. Big Mac would get the job done by luring Canseco, who can’t possibly have any friends, with an offer of reuniting, then go for the kill. No chance he beats the rap though, since we know how terrible he comes off in a courtroom setting.
- Jason Giambi- Giambi was riding high after he made a name for himself in Oakland, then came to New York. Jose named him and things went to hell, making Giambi one of the most prominent scapegoats for Selig’s tacit support of steroids use. Of course, Giambi has since become a master of disguise, with the facial hair, something he is sure to use in the crime.
- Bud Selig- Selig, a killer? Impossible! That’s what Bud has on his side though, the element of surprise. Plus, you know Bud can just send one of his minions to kill Jose; he’s the second most mob-connected commish in sports behind David Stern. You know that Selig hates Canseco for telling the truth (or at least some of it) about the extent of steroids use.
- David Eckstein- We’re still watching you, you crazy midget! You’re not fooling us.
Hopefully Kittle is wrong about his concerns for Canseco’s life, but if he’s not these guys will be among the first interviewed. Well, them and whoever that guy in the picture with him up there is.
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